


The Wolf Den

by BigBadLittleRed



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Anxiety Attacks, Child abduction mention, Depression, Derek Has Issues, Derek is Good with Kids, F/F, F/M, Homophobic Language, M/M, Past Lydia Martin/Stiles Stilinski, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Harm, Service Animals, Single Parent Stiles Stilinski, Touch Aversion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-17
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-04-09 18:39:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 33,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4360028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BigBadLittleRed/pseuds/BigBadLittleRed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles Stilinski works for the Sheriff's Department in Beacon Hills County. He considers himself a rather invested young father to his only son, Spencer. He knows everything about the boy, except maybe he doesn't.</p>
<p>On a day where Lydia's caught up in work for too long, Stiles has to take his son to a weekly event at the library he knew nothing about. He's especially confused when he finds out it's hosted by a young man his age with rather eccentric style, and a service dog.</p>
<p>His name is Derek, the kids call him Dee-Dee.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dee-Dee's Den

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles meets Dee-Dee, also known as Derek. This really isn't what he was expecting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( Welcome to my brand new story, I really hope you like it! )

Working as a police officer is a very time consuming job, but Stiles has managed to wrangle decently manageable hours. He has shared custody of his son with the mother of the child, a schedule that works for all three of them. Lydia works with a law firm, and often has meetings and cases in seemingly random times. But they settled a course of action where Spencer was always with a parent while out of school.

 

It worked for them. Spencer was happy and content with it, considering his parents hadn't ever been together, just friends. Stiles had gotten Lydia pregnant when they were just nineteen. Neither were ready for marriage, and it was really just a fuck-buddy arrangement truthfully. They agreed to be good friends and parent their kid together while having their own separate lives. The schedule was set in stone so they could have that life.

 

Which is why Stiles was so startled to get a call from Lydia on Wednesday near noon while he's on patrol.

 

"What happened? Is Spence okay?" He asks worriedly as he answers his phone. He can't help it, this was out of the normal everyday, his rapid thought train taking him to mental images of his son in so many horrid situation.

 

"Don't start hyperventilating before I've even spoken." Lydia says, her voice is calm and even, it almost always is.

 

"Lydia, is my baby hurt?" He demands, she laughs quietly. It settles him a little, Lydia laughing at his overprotective papa bear mode. She wouldn't do that if something were seriously wrong because she turns into a fierce lioness protecting her baby.

 

"He's just fine, Stiles. I just need you to pick him up from school in an hour." She explains.

 

"But.. Wednesdays are your days." He objects dumbly.

 

"I've been held up on a case, I can't take care of him this afternoon. All you have to do is pick him up and take him to the library by 1:30." She instructs him.

 

"The library?" He asks.

 

"He has a group thing with a bunch of other kids his age. He'll show you where it is. Just bring him in and sit quietly. It lasts until 3." The woman tells him carefully, Stiles' mind is reeling. Spencer never mentioned this before, neither had Lydia.

 

"What is it?" He questions.

 

"You'll see when you get there. I have to go, Stiles. Give Spencer a big kiss from me and drive safe." Lydia says before hanging up. He stares at the phone in his hand for a few minutes, frowning intensely. He calls up his father and explains the situation, who sighs and agrees to let him off for the night.

 

Stiles can't help but be curious about this group thing. It was an hour and a half long, how many kids Spencer's age could sit still for more than an hour? Luckily his son didn't inherit his father's awful ADHD, but no young kid sat through some boring story time for an hour. He heads home and gets changed into his civvies, watching TV to pass the thirty minutes until he has to go pick up Spencer.

 

He drives to the school and parks, walking inside to the main foyer where the younger kids were sitting against the walls awaiting their parents. Spencer is talking rapidly to a little girl, who's staring at him with intense focus. Something he did inherit was his father's rambling, at least the girl was listening, or at least attempting to.

 

"Spencer!" He calls out, his son's head snaps to look at him, eyes lighting up.

 

"Daddy!" He stands up and rushes over, holding his SpongeBob backpack haphazardly by one strap. He picks the boy up with ease, kissing at his face and squeezing him tightly. "I thought mommy was supposed to come get me." The boy asks with confusion.

 

"She got held up in boring old court. But I'm here to take you to some sort of meeting at the library?" He says with a shrug, Spencer grins even brighter.

 

"Dee-Dee!" He crows with glee, squirming with excitement. "You get to meet Dee-Dee!" He laughs.

 

"Who's Dee-Dee?" Stiles feels so out of the loop at the moment. He adjusts his son's shirt collar, which is pulled out of place slightly.

 

"The Alpha of the Wolf Pack!" The boy says, like that clears everything up and Stiles is a complete idiot for not knowing. He just nods slightly and waves to Spencer's teacher before walking out. His son is practically vibrating with energy, and he keeps howling. Must be some sort of game where they pretend they're wolves.

 

When they get to the library, Stiles is having to walk fast to keep up with his sprinting son, the boy's tiny hand clasped on his jacket sleeve. The boy barely falters to wave at a guy putting books on shelves, saying hello to him, dubbing him Isaac. There's already a few kids dancing and leaping around the back area where there are some recreational rooms. It's closed off, and apparently you can be louder in here considering the kids are already louder.

 

Spencer races over to a boy, they both jump excitedly together, racing around Stiles' legs as the boy's mother sends him a small exasperated smile. There are about twelve kids that pile up in the main room over the course of the next few minutes, laughing and talking with so much energy you'd think they were heading to Disney World or the beach or something.

 

Then a young woman comes in, with curly blonde hair and a great grin. The kids all flock to her, greeting her as Erica.

 

"I just got word from the wood nymphs that it's okay to give the signal." She says in a faux whisper. The kids gather around the door in a circle, giving it a wide berth. Erica reaches out and knocks on the door twice, they all wait. Then, suddenly, there are two loud bangs in response. Erica knocks twice once more, then steps back, heading back into the main library with a wave.

 

The door creaks open slightly, the entire place is so silent you could hear a pin drop. Stiles can feel the suspension building in his own body.

 

"Who are you?" A voice demands, not loudly but with authority.

 

"Wolves!" The kids answer in almost complete unison, besides a few stragglers who are a little behind in the chorus of tiny voices.

 

"Wolves, you say? What have you come for?" The voice asks, the kids titter with soft laughter, covering their mouths to silence themselves. "Why are you here?" The person inquires.

 

"To learn of course!" The kids say, like it's a rehearsed script. Stiles stands back with the rest of the parents who are watching with amusement on their faces, Stiles has never seen Spencer so alight with excitement. The door creaks open a little more.

 

"Is that so? What's the password then?" The voice asks snobbishly.

 

"Love!" The kids crow, the door swings wide open. In the doorway is a young man Stiles' age, and absolutely nothing he expected. He's standing tall, his shoulders are back, fists clenched, a powerful smirk on his face. He's rather muscled, arms painted with amazingly colorful tattoos of all kinds. His hair is dyed bright pink, and he has black square framed glasses and his ears are pierced with heart shaped studs.

 

"My young betas have arrived! Welcome, everyone!" He grins, turning away and into the room. The kids file in, the adults shortly after.. The adults sit in a bunch of chairs on the side wall.

 

The room is gorgeously decorated to look like a forest, and in the middle of the room is a rug that resembles grass. The kids are already settling down on the rug, the man steps onto a giant fake tree stump they all face. There are a lot of shelves and boxes lining the walls, covered with fake vines and moss. And then Stiles sees it, right next to the tree stump is a giant black German Sheppard laying in a camouflage colored dog bed. It's wearing a service dog vest, bright blue with white letters on it.

 

"I'm seeing a few new faces today.. Isn't that great? You've told your friends... But..." His voice lowers to a hush as he crouches on the stump, the kids leaning forward to hear him. "Make sure the witch doesn't find out about our secret meetings. Okay?" He asks seriously, all the kids nod with stern looks on their face. "Okay good." The man sighs in exaggerated relief, falling back against the stump in a goofy fashion, legs thrown out wildly as he regains his balance. The kids giggle and laugh as he grins.

 

A hand shoots up in the crowd, a young girl with brown pigtails. He points to her and she lowers her hand.

 

"Dee-Dee, you forgot about the phones!" She scolds, he gasps dramatically.

 

"You're right Kayla!" He says with wide hazel eyes, before looking up. "For anyone new, or anyone who's forgot. I require you to silence all electronics in this room. If there's a ringtone or text alert the witch can track it here and pinpoint our location." He says with a completely serious expression, everyone pulls out their phones and turns them off or silences them.

 

"Okay, since we have newcomers I'm going to go ahead and tell you a little about myself." The man says with a clap of his hands. "My name is Derek Hale, I'm twenty-five years old, which is like a gazillion years old." He says with a huff, smiling lightly when the kids laugh. "You can call me Dee-Dee if you want, or Derek.. I don't mind." He continues. Oh, so _this_ is Dee-Dee?

 

"I am the Alpha of this pack, and there are a few rules you have to follow in this forest." He runs a hand through his bright pink hair, leaning back to prop himself up with his other arm. "First rule, cubs?" He inquires.

 

"Ask first!" The kids answer obediently.

 

"Now if you and your child are going to be a part of this, you should know that I am very open and honest. This rule is a safety measure, not for your kids, but for me." He says calmly, face completely stoic. "As you can see, I have a service dog. His name is Mac, and he's with me everywhere I go. He's here to keep me safe and comfortable, because I have PTSD." He explains.

 

A hand raises hesitantly, and Derek smiles kindly.

 

"What's your name, cub?" He asks the girl, who smiles shyly.

 

"Josie." She answers softly.

 

"That's a lovely name. I bet I know what your question is, can I guess?" When the girl nods, the man grins. "You want to know where I got my hair done." There's a pause of complete joyous laughter, even a few smirks from the adults, Stiles covers his snort with a hand to his mouth as Derek drags a hand through his pink hair with a flutter of his eyelashes. "Well, I actually did it myself!" He informs her, she smiles and shakes her head. "No? That's not your question? What is it then?" He questions.

 

"What's that word mean? P-something." She frowns.

 

"PTSD. It means Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. It's just a real science-y word that means that someone has had something awful happen to them and their brain gets a little...." He tries to search for an age appropriate word. "Confused... At times."

 

"Is it contagious?" The girl asks with a grimace.

 

"No, of course not. It's all in my head. Basically it means that sometimes certain situations upset me easily. Which is the reason for rule one. I get pretty upset when someone touches me without asking me first, so all I want is for you guys to call out to me if you want my attention. I don't want to get upset and ruin a meeting, and I know neither do you." He gives an exaggerated frown. "That goes to the adults as well, I enjoy my personal space and I'd like you to respect that.. Which brings me to rule two." He arches a bushy eyebrow at the kids.

 

Spencer raises his hand, Derek points at him. "Spencer, what's rule two?" He smiles.

 

"Respect everyone." His son calls out proudly, looking back at Stiles with a grin. He offers a thumbs-up to the boy.

 

"That's correct. In this room, I teach good manners and morals. We are not just werewolves, we are care-wolves." There are a few snickers from the kids. "Everyone in this room, everyone you meet. They are a person, with feelings and thoughts and lives of their own. Everyone's voice should be heard, we do not talk out of turn, we don't insult, everyone in this world matters." Stiles finds himself a little entranced with the amount of care Derek puts into his words.

 

"Rule three." He snaps his fingers, pointing at a boy in the front. "Eddie?" The boy frowns, thinking.

 

"The vest." The boy points to the service dog near the fake tree stump.

 

"Close enough. Remember the vest!" Derek says. "Mac is a service animal. He services me. When he's wearing that vest, he's on duty. This goes for any person that has a service animal." He looks over at the dog. "Here." He says, the dog stands and trots over without hesitation.

 

"Mac is not here for fun, he has a very serious job. He keeps me calm and makes me feel safe. He actually has a license and paperwork. He had to train for months to learn how to work with me." Derek pets gently at the dog's head. "If you ever see a vest like this on an animal, you'll notice the big stop signs sewn on it and warning signs. They all basically say the same thing, do not pet." He's got the kid's rapt attention on him, even the adults.

 

"Do not pet Mac while he is wearing this vest... If his attention is on you, and I get upset, he can't help me. Some service animals are used to lead people who can't walk by themselves. They could get hurt if you distract their animals. Some of them are used to detect seizures, anyone know what a seizure is?" He questions.

 

A boy raises his hand, Derek points to him. "Jamal?"

 

"Erica has ep-lepsy." The boy says, frowning over his pronunciation. "She gets seizures.. It's where you fall over and start shaking real bad."

 

"Indeed Erica does have epilepsy. But hers is moderately controlled by medication. Some people need to have a dog with them to help them with seizures. If you pet their dog and the person has a seizure, the dog can't help!" Mac whines softly, jumping up slightly to lick at Derek's face. "See? Mac can tell when I get even a little upset. He can distract me and help me... So please do not pet him while he's wearing this vest." The kids nod their agreement and Derek moves on to explain the rest of the rules.

 

Derek talks about a lot of stuff, from respecting the Earth to expressing your feelings in a healthy way.

 

"It's okay to not be okay. You are allowed to be sad.. Everyone can cry when they need to... That whole boys don't cry thing is terrible.. Boys cry, I cry all the time." He says with a wave of his arms.

 

But he also keeps the mood light, making the occasional joke.

 

"One time I dyed my hair blue and accidently joined the Smurfs for an entire month. They never noticed."

 

He then engages in an activity when the kids have to work together in groups to solve a bunch of puzzles. But about five minutes before the class ends, just after they had put up the puzzles, the door swings open.

 

"THE WITCH!" All the kids screech with excitement as a woman storms in with a black cloak and dark hair. She looks an awful lot like Derek, with a stern scowl on her face as she cackles evilly. All the kids scramble behind the tree stump when Derek prompts them to.

 

"Dastardly witch, how did you find us?" Derek growls, hunching over with his hands curling as if he had claws at the ready, teeth bared in a sneer.

 

"It was rather simple, you foolish Alpha." She says with a hand waving in the air, pulling a wand from her cloak and aiming it at the man. "I tracked the sound of joy." She scoffs, faking a gag.

 

"You she-devil, be gone from here!" Derek says theatrically.

 

"Not without the treasure!" She spits, Derek turns his eyes to a box in the corner covered by a blanket. "Is that it then?" She asks with a sly grin.

 

"You'll never have it!" He steps in front of her, hands held out to block her way. "Cubs, guard the chest!" He barks, the kids scramble to the chest, pulling the blanket away to reveal a dark wooden chest. They stand in front of it protectively.

 

Derek and the 'witch' engage in quite the fake battle. They rarely actually touch each other, but it seems as if they do from the kid's point of view... They look pretty concerned for the man. Then Derek stumbles back with a hand that thrusts towards his chest, hitting the floor on his bottom.

 

"No one can save you now!" She hisses, pointing her wand at him.

 

And then the walls echo with a loud roar that had to be a sound effect, they all turn to find three people standing in the doorway. Isaac and Erica from earlier, along with a big dark-skinned guy.

 

"That's our Alpha you're threatening." Erica growls with a bare of her teeth.

 

The woman in the cloak looks fearful suddenly, but then she turns it into a grin.

 

"I am not afraid of simple betas." She huffs, before turning her wand on the trio at the door.

 

"We are not afraid of evil... Good always conquers evil!" Isaac's not the best actor, a little too dramatic, the black dude actually snorts a soft laugh and jabs him in the chest before stepping forward.

 

"Evil sorceress, we shall stand beside our Alpha to the death." He declares with a strong voice.

 

"Then death shall come on swift wings." Stiles' eyes follow Derek getting to his feet and creeping over to the side of the room. The kid's eyes are too caught on the fight in the middle of the room. The witch pulls her wand back before throwing it forward with a shout. Derek leaps in front of them, throwing himself backwards onto the floor on his back.

 

All the kids gasp in horror.

 

Suddenly (more like with the flick of a switch at the bottom of the wand), the witch's wand glows a bright red.

 

"No! My power is dimming!" The woman curses.

 

"Because there's nothing more powerful than the love of a pack mate!" Erica spits, kneeling beside Derek and looking down at him sadly.

 

"I shall return!" The witch hisses, before fleeing the room.

 

"Everyone gather around!" Isaac calls hurriedly, everyone makes a circle around Derek, who's still lying motionless on the ground.

 

"He's gravely injured... The witch's spell cast a dark shadow over his soul.. There's only one thing left to remove it..." Erica says quietly, holding her hand out a few feet above Derek's body.

 

"Everyone put your hands out, cast all of your love towards Derek... Really concentrate, or it won't work." A bunch of tiny hands are placed over Erica's, and everyone falls silent for a moment.

 

"You might be small, but your hearts are not... You can be just as strong as Derek in your heart.." The dark skinned man says solemnly, his own hand and Isaac's being placed over the kid's.

 

"Come back to us, Alpha. We need your wisdom." Erica says.

 

"We need your kindness." Isaac says.

 

"We need your love..." The other man says.

 

"Everyone together... Come back to us, Alpha." They start up a chant, all the parents are leaning forward in their seats, smiling at their kids playing along so seriously.

 

Then Derek gasps suddenly, sitting up and panting roughly. The group falls back a few steps, cheering and clapping.

 

"Thank you so very much, my young betas... Your hearts are stronger than that witch's magic.. You can do anything with hearts that strong." Derek says sincerely, rising to his feet.  "Don't let anybody tell you anything else." The kids nod sincerely and Derek grins.

 

"Okay, well I believe that concludes this gathering at the Wolf Den... I will see you all next week.." He says, before tipping his head back and howling, everyone joining in.

 

"You will never lose your way with howls like that... They'll always bring you back here, to the safety of the den... The safety of your pack, remember that." All the kids disperse out the door, parents following as the kids laugh and skip and gesture erratically as they talk about the battle that had just occurred.

 

"Dad, did you see?!" Spencer exclaims at him as they walk out, Stiles picks him up.

 

"I sure did, you all saved Derek!" He grins, Spencer nods eagerly.

 

"It was so cool, I love being part of Dee-Dee's pack!" The boy says with a laugh.

 

"I'm glad, why don't you go tell him goodbye?" He suggests, setting the boy down. Derek's walking out of the room with Mac on a leash, the leash is strapped to his wrist.

 

"Dee-Dee, today was so great." Spencer tells him with a smile, Derek smiles brightly.

 

"I'm glad you had a good time... I see your mom didn't come today." He offers a look to Stiles, eyes fidgeting to and from him.

 

"This is my dad." Spencer tugs on his leg.

 

"Stiles Stilinski." He offers a hand to Derek, who stares down at it for a fraction of a second before taking it and shaking it.

 

"Very nice to meet you, Spencer is a bright young man." The man tells him.

 

"I see he's learning from the best." Stiles compliments, watching Derek's ears turn red.

 

"I just let them have fun." He shrugs, reaching down and petting at his dog's scruff.

 

"You teach them some great stuff... I'm glad Lydia found this place." He says with a nod.

 

"Well I mean, she didn't find it. Cora told her about it." Derek explains.

 

"Cora?" He frowns.

 

"Oh... The witch.. My younger sister." Derek says, embarrassed.

 

"Oh, that's your sister! You look very much alike." He comments.

 

"Yes, we do... Anyways, how is Lydia doing? She okay?" The man inquires.

 

"She's fine, just caught up with work. I'm glad I got to experience this.. It was sort of mind blowing, Spencer's never learned so much while being so happy and entertained." He snorts, Derek nods.

 

"I try to keep it real and fun... Balance it out."

 

"You're great with kids, have any of your own?" Stiles asks.

 

"No.. No..." Derek shakes his head awkwardly, looking away and down at his dog. Stiles watches his hand come up to tug at his sleeve in an odd way, the dog watching curiously. He tugs at it again, and the dog turns and starts pulling on his leash towards the door. An almost undetectable signal to the dog, Stiles guesses, one to get him out of situations that made him nervous. It hurts a little, but it's probably not just him, Derek might not be good with adults or maybe men in particular.

 

"Sorry... Mac probably needs to go to the bathroom." Derek apologizes quietly, Stiles nods, noticing his discomfort. The man disappears out the door after a few waves to the kids.

 

"Can we go to McDonald's?" Spencer asks him as they walk out.

 

"Sure..." He agrees, mind still caught on the slightly damaged guy that was helping kids with the best of his ability.

 

He can't help but smile while they eat in the car, idly listening to his son ramble about his love for the Wolf Den. He understands, that little hour and a half meeting was one of the most exciting things that had happened to Stiles in years... No matter how sad that sounds, it was true. He wants to go back, listen to Derek talk and watch him battle the witch.

 

He wants to see him smile again, teach his simplistic but important ways.

 

"Daddy, did you like it?" Spencer's voice snaps him from his thought.

 

"Yeah, it was really fun." He says quietly, stuffing a few fries in his mouth.

 

"Will you come with me next week?" Spencer questions.

 

"Maybe another time, bud." He says instead of making a promise he may not be able to keep, watching his son nod as he shoved a chicken nugget into his mouth. "Chew, you heathen." Stiles scolds lightly while failing to hide a smirk, earning a giggle from his son.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( So? Any thoughts? I hope you liked it as much as I loved writing it! :) )


	2. Running With The Wolves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles finds ways to spend time at the Wolf Den.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( You guys really liked the first chapter, so here's the second! )

Over the course of the next few weeks, Stiles can't help but attempt to return to those weekly meetings at the library. Derek's teachings are heart filled and he really cares about the kids, putting his entire being into communicating his point across so the kids understand him. About a month after his first visit, he goes again, feeling like a child with his hand in the cookie jar when Lydia spots him.

 

"What are you doing here?" She asks suspiciously, Stiles watches Spencer tackle another boy, the both of them rolling around on the floor and growling at each other.

 

"I um.. I had a few hours off, thought I'd drop by..." He shrugs, eyes flickering over to the door.

 

"You have the hots for someone here." Lydia says with pursed lips, sighing as she flicks her hair behind her ear. Her eyes scan the main room, searching for someone to point out.

 

"I don't have the hots for anyone. I thought that this was a very interesting tactic to help kids learn." He shrugs, shoving his hands in his pockets as Erica comes in.

 

"You like Derek." Lydia hisses softly, hitting him in the arm.

 

"I do not!" He argues as Erica is followed by her two counterparts.

 

"Excuse me, fighting and arguments are not tolerated in the den." The man from the other day says.

 

"Boyd is right, you might cost the whole pack an entire meeting!" Erica frowns, they earn a couple of boos and hisses from the kids. Stiles shoots Lydia a glare.

 

"You happy? Getting me in trouble." Stiles grumbles before looking over at Erica and smiling sweetly. "Just friendly banter between me and Lyds." He assures with a grin, Erica throws him a look and rolls her eyes before walking over to the door.

 

They go through the same little scene as before, before the door swings open and Derek's standing before them. Except now his hair is bright pink and the spiked up ends are dyed purple. He's got on piece sign studs, his tattoos aren't as visible because of the Henley he's wearing.

 

"Today has been treacherous, my young wolves." Derek says, falling to his knees. "The witch has brought reinforcements, I've been racing through the forest all day..." He explains quietly. "We cannot stay here, we must head to the field for our meeting today." He says with a firm shake of his head.

 

A hand shoots up, Derek nods to the little boy.

 

"Yes, Henry?" He answers.

 

"Where's the field, Dee-Dee?" The boy asks curiously.

 

"That's right... This is my new team, my old pack has grown up... You've never seen the field?" All the kids rigorously shake their heads. "Well I suppose I'll just have to show you. But we have to be extremely quiet while leaving, the witches are lurking." Derek shuffles past the group on his knees, bringing his hands down onto the floor and lifting his knees off the carpet to walk on his hands and feet like a dog.

 

All the kids get on their hands and knees, moving awkwardly behind Derek as they head into the library and out the front door. Turns out the field is actually a field, it's a huge area of grass behind the library. There's a tall mass of weeds surrounding the back wall of the grass, and Derek warns them not to wander into it because they could get snatched by a witch.

 

In the middle of the field, waiting for them, is a guitar and a bunch of bandanas.

 

"I realize it's hot out here, if any of the parents wish to retreat, that's fine." A couple of parents walk away, including Lydia, leaving Stiles, two moms, and a father. "Today is a beautiful day, is it not?" He asks with a small smile.

 

A hand shoots up, Spencer.

 

"Yes, Spence?" Derek points at him.

 

"Where's Mac?" Derek suddenly looks extremely close to being sick, fidgeting where he stands and looking around as if he expects to see the dog.

 

"Um.. Mac had to stay home today..." He explains weakly, running a hand through his hair before picking up a bandana. "But today we're gonna play a game." He says.

 

They play a game where everyone tucks a bandana into their pants or pockets, and someone has to snatch all the bandanas up. Derek sits and watches instead of engaging like he usually does, sitting cross-legged in the grass watching. Stiles takes a chance, more like a leap of faith, sitting down next to him. Well not directly next to him, he gives him about a foot of space.

 

"Something wrong with your dog?" He asks quietly, staring out at the kids racing around and laughing.

 

"I can't rely on him forever if I can help it. At least, that's what my therapist thinks." He mutters quietly, messing with the sleeves of his Henley with shaking fingers.

 

"He makes you feel safe, I understand." He says softly, Derek looks over at him with a frown. "After my mom died, I felt like I'd never feel safe or loved ever again." He shrugs, Derek gives a small nod and looks away.

 

"How long have you been doing this class?" He almost asked how long he had owned the dog, but that might connect to some stressful memories.

 

"I started a story telling group when I was sixteen. I was always great with kids. I went off to college and um..." He falls silent for a moment. "Some stuff happened, and I came back when I was twenty. I started the group back up when I was twenty-three, and it sort of turned into this." He gestures outwards, Stiles watches Spencer dive and snatch someone's bandana from their pocket.

 

"Did you ever get a degree?" Stiles questions.

 

"There was no point. I was going to be a pediatrician. I can barely function, nobody would hire an unstable doctor." The man huffs softly, angling his knees up and propping his arms on them, resting his chin against his arm.

 

"Maybe you could get better. Not completely, but enough to be what you want." He says with a shrug. Derek is quiet for a long time, they both stare at the few kids left standing with bandanas running away from those who are supposed to capture them.

 

"Spencer really loves you and Lydia. He's happy." Derek says suddenly, softly. "I've seen a lot of cases with separated parents, but your family is one of the healthiest." He murmurs.

 

"Lydia and I were never really together, and we knew it wouldn't work. But we were and are good friends." He tells Derek with a small smile.  "But I guess you would know that, since you and your sister are friends with her." He chuckles.

 

"Oh I've never spoken to Lydia before." The man says to him, Stiles frowns.

 

"Never? How long has Spencer been coming?" He questions.

 

"I dunno, like four months maybe." Derek shrugs.

 

"And you've never spoken once to Lydia?" He asks.

 

"Cora met her and invited her. I'm not too good with women." He mumbles, picking at a loose thread in his jeans.

 

"How did Cora meet her?" Stiles questions, instead of focusing on Derek's uncomfortable admission.

 

"Some gay bar." Stiles chokes on his spit.

 

"Are her and Cora...?" Derek looks up at him with a smirk, laughing quietly.

 

"You didn't know? They've been dating for like two months." He pauses, looking wary. "You're okay with that, right?" Stiles is quick to nod, sighing.

 

"I knew she swung both ways, we both do.. But she didn't even tell me." He grumbles, a little miffed at the fact that Lydia didn't share with him.

 

"Both ways." Derek repeats softly, before fidgeting slightly and standing up, addressing the kids. He avoids Stiles the rest of the meeting, but keeps looking at him funny. Stiles wonders if it's something he said. Was it the swing both ways thing? Did he not like that? No, he asked Stiles if he was okay with it... And then Stiles had said that both him and Lydia like men and women...

 

Was Derek avoiding him because he admitted to liking men? Maybe he feared women because they liked men, and maybe since Stiles likes men as well, he was wary of Stiles?

 

It eats at him on his way back to the station, except Spencer's voice isn't there to snap him out of it. No, tonight was Lydia's night.

 

-

 

"You're quiet today, something up?" Scott asks him, suddenly next to him. He had been staring at paper work for a few hours now, and hadn't even noticed his partner roll up beside him in his desk chair.

 

"No, just a little tired." He excuses lamely, pressing the palms of his hands against his eyes until he sees bright flashes of light behind his lids.

 

"Where'd you head off to earlier?" His friend pries, Stiles isn't really surprised by his nosiness. They were partners in crime all their childhood, sneaking about and listening in on conversations.

 

"Just a thing with Spence." He mutters. Scott makes a soft interested noise and attempts to look occupied by organizing the things on _Stiles'_ desk thank you very much. Stiles smacks his hand lightly, ignoring the puppy eyes he receives.

 

"Something happen?" Scott whispers softly, concerned. Stiles feels a bit like a dick for smacking him.

 

"It's just a group meeting thing on Wednesdays after school at the library. It's really interesting, the guy there basically just teaches them a bunch of stuff while making jokes and stuff. Morals and information about the people around them." He tries to explain, but it's sort of tough to put into words.

 

"Oh, you mean Dee-Dee?" Scott snickers, Stiles gapes at him. "I'm friends with Isaac, I was an Alpha wolf once that joined forces with Derek and we defeated an ogre." He explains with a grin.

 

"Why am I the last to find out about this?" Stiles whines, closing his folder of papers and dropping his head against his desk.

 

"It's Lydia's day, do you tell her everything you do with Spencer?" He asks.

 

"The main stuff! We went to the movies, we went roller skating or biking.. I have never kept anything from her. And now she's dating some woman without me knowing!" He complains.

 

"You're not like.. Into Lydia again, are you?" Scott asks hesitantly.

 

"What? No.. We're good friends, it's not that.. It's just that we used to be closer." He shrugs.

 

"So you found out about the group and started stalking Lydia while she was there?" Scott questions.

 

"No! I go because it's interesting." He exclaims.

 

"You're checking someone out over there." Scott grins, Stiles literally smacks himself in the face. "Who is it? A parent? One of the workers?" Scott's tapping at his arm excitedly.

 

"You act like you're the one with the crush." Stiles groans.

 

"One, you just admitted to having a crush. Two, I'm allowed to be excited because you haven't had a real relationship since Heather..." He says with a laugh. Stiles gets up to get some coffee, but Scott just follows him into the break room. "Who is it? I won't tell anyone!" His friend pleads.

 

"One, you will tell.. You'll tell everyone because you're a gossip.. Two, I dated around when Spencer was younger." He argues.

 

"You went on three dates with one guy, and every date ended with you leaving early because you were worried about Spencer." Scott tells him with a roll of his eyes. "Tell me!" He demands in a whiny tone.

 

"Five questions." Stiles compromises.

 

"Is it a woman?"

 

"No."

 

"Is he a parent?"

 

"Nope."

 

"It's not Isaac, right?" Scott looks a little jealous, Stiles will pick on him later.

 

"No."

 

"It's Derek." Scott says softly, eyes not alight with excitement, but a little sadness. "Dude, that sucks." He murmurs.

 

"Why does that suck?" Stiles frowns, sipping at his coffee.

 

"Because Derek is beyond un-dateable." Scott exclaims.

 

"Because he has PTSD? That doesn't make him un-dateable, you should feel ashamed of yourself for thinking that!" He scolds.

 

"No, dude. Derek can barely touch people or talk to them. He barely said two words to me outside of the little play thing we did. Something happened to him in college that seriously fucked him up. He can barely have friendships, let alone relationships!" His friend tells him.

 

"We had a nice conversation about the origin of the whole group thing, and about his dog." Stiles says, instead of arguing.

 

"Like a real conversation? More than just yes and no and running away with his dog?" Scott asks with confusion.

 

"His dog wasn't there, he said his therapist thinks he should try to get along without his dog sometimes." He turns and heads out of the break room, leaving Scott the one gaping. Check and mate, Scotty boy. "You should shut your mouth, Scott. You might catch flies." He says cheerily, sitting down at his desk. Scott storms over, waving his arms erratically.

 

"He actually-" His words are cut off when the Sheriff walks in.

 

"Scott, back to work!" He demands, Scott sinks into his chair.

 

"This isn't over, Stilinski." His partner hisses at him.

 

"I believe it is." Stiles grins, opening the manila folder on his desk and grabbing a pencil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( I hope you enjoyed the second installment of this fic, if you did, leave kudos and maybe a comment? )


	3. Family Emergencies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles and Spencer rush to the hospital to meet Scott.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( Flying Dutchman Voice: WELCOME BACK!..... Okay I really don't know what that was, but I made a new chapter and was trying to think of what to type and the Flying Dutchman's voice spoke to me... So welcome back, from me and the Flying Dutchman.. Apparently he ships Sterek.. Anyways... Enjoy the new chapter! )

It was a nice Saturday afternoon, he could not have seen this coming, he wishes he would have. Answering his phone to listen to his father gruffly tell him that Scott was in the hospital was such a shock to his system that he dropped his phone. His son had looked at him with concern and confusion as he scrambled to pick up the device once more.

 

"Why? Is he hurt?" He demands, cursing his voice for betraying him and cracking slightly.

 

"Daddy?" His son murmurs, he holds up a finger, giving him a pleading look to be quiet for a moment and the boy frowns but falls silent.

 

" _He was looking sick earlier and keeled over in the middle of the station. They think it's his appendix._ " Which, sure, appendicitis happened a lot, it was common. But what if Scott's had ruptured?! He could _die_.

 

"I'm on my way." He says, hanging up and shoving his phone in his pocket. "Go get your shoes on." He tells Spencer.

 

"What's wrong?" Spencer questions.

 

"Uncle Scott is in the hospital." He replies calmly as he walks behind his son, grabbing his own shoes near the couch.

 

"Is he dying?" Man, his kid was blunt, and the fear in his voice made him flinch.

 

"He's sick, they're making sure he's okay." He pats the boy's slightly wild brunette hair, shoving his shoes on his feet. He helps the boy put on his light up sneakers and they're off.

 

"You're sure he's not dying?" He looks back at the boy in the car seat, his tiny hands clenched in his Avenger's t-shirt and worry evident in his dark amber eyes.

 

"Positive, he's just real sick." He can't be a pessimist with his son, it'll only upset him.

 

-

 

They talk to Melissa, who's just as worried, but informs them that it is appendicitis and they're going to have to operate.

 

"They're gonna cut open Uncle Scott!?" His son shrieks, Stiles shushes him as a couple of people in the waiting room turn to look at them.

 

"They have to, buddy. He's gonna get even sicker if they don't take his appendix out." Stiles informs him.

 

"It's gonna hurt him!" Spencer objects, Melissa actually smiles a little.

 

"No, sweetheart. He's gonna be asleep, and then afterwards they're going to give him medicine so he doesn't feel anything." She explains, he looks a little more accepting of that idea.

 

"Medicine?" He whispers to Melissa, who laughs softly and nods. "I should make him a get well card, then.. He's gonna need it." He says decidedly, nodding with a serious expression. Stiles snorts, times like this made him grateful for having a kid.

 

"Okay then, we'll get you some paper and pencil.. Maybe some crayons." Melissa takes Spencer from his arms and carries him behind the counter to show him the office in the back room.

 

-

 

Scott comes out of surgery okay, and they check in on him even though he's asleep.

 

"See? Alive and sort of well." Stiles tells Spencer, who walks over to the bed, sets his card on table. Stiles steps over and examines the card, it's a picture of Scott. He's wearing a red cape and a shirt that had a yellow badge on it. There are also what seem to be brown blobs with legs, dogs of course, because Scott loved dogs.

 

'Get Well Soon' is written out in blue crayon, no spelling mistakes, Melissa probably helped him. Spencer demands to be lifted, leaning over slightly to kiss his pseudo uncle's forehead.

 

"The healing kiss." Stiles comments with a grin, Spencer nods with a giggle. "Okay, let's let Uncle Scott rest." He sets the boy down and they walk out, heading down the hall. They maneuver down the hall, turn a corner, and head down another hall towards the elevator. They walk by several opened doors, but just as they reach the elevator, Spencer tugs on his shirt.

 

"What?" He mutters, looking down at the boy, who points down the hall to their left. He spots the head of bright pink hair first, then the black dog sitting next to it.

 

"That's Dee-Dee." Spencer says, in case he hadn't realized.

 

The man is sitting outside of a door, knees curled to his chest and face buried against Mac's scruff. Stiles' feet move automatically, curious as they walk down the quiet hall. There's only the sound of quiet talking and monitors beeping. The long term care ward.

 

"Dee-Dee?" Spencer whispers as he approaches, not getting too close, hands clasped behind his back. When the man doesn't answer, he says it a bit louder, the man startles and looks over at them. His eyes are red and bloodshot, he wipes his nose when he realizes who's talking to him. Mac leans over and licks at his owner's face, Derek combs his fingers through the dog's fur.

 

"Sorry, Spence saw you." Stiles excuses quietly as Derek sits up a little more, patting the space next to him. Spencer moves over and sits down next to them, not touching him, keeping his space. Stiles walks over as well, sitting down next to his son.

 

"You sick?" Spencer questions softly, frowning when Derek shakes his head. "You sad?" Derek nods, sniffling a little. "That's okay, remember what you said? It's okay to not be okay." Derek looks over at him with a small smile.

 

"Thanks kid." He whispers hoarsely.

 

"Pack mates have to be there for each other." Spencer informs him with a serious nod. "Dee-Dee?" He whispers, Derek looks over at him with raised eyebrows. "Do you want to talk about it? Talking helps." The kid sounds like a mini-therapist, but Stiles is pretty sure he's just repeating things Derek has said.

 

"My sister's in there." Derek jerks his thumb towards the doorway just to his left.

 

"Cora?" Stiles asks softly, suddenly thinking about Lydia. Should she know? Is Cora dying?

 

"No, my older sister, Laura." Derek wipes at his face with a messy swipe of his hand. "She's been here for about five years..." He explains, clearing his throat.

 

"Is she dying?" Spencer questions.

 

"It's complicated, but yes, technically she's going to die." His voice cracks a little, lip trembling. "Tomorrow, actually." He whispers.

 

"How do you know?" Spencer frowns.

 

"Like I said, it's complicated, Spence.. Hard for kids to understand, really." Derek tells him.

 

"But you said that kids shouldn't be treated like they're stupid, they understand more than you think." His son argues, and Stiles grabs the boy, pulling him into his lap.

 

"If Derek says it's complicated, then it is. He'd tell you if he could." He says simply, Spencer sighs and nods. "I'm sorry about your sister." Stiles says, Spencer repeats him.

 

"Why are you two here?" Derek asks after a moment, tugging his dog in between his legs and wrapping his arms around him. Mac's tail wags a little, he licks Derek's ear then settles his head on the man's bicep.

 

"Uncle Scott had to be cut open." Derek's eyes widen as Stiles chokes on air, Spencer giggles at their reactions.

 

"My best friend's appendix had to be taken out." He explains when he recovers from his son's slightly murderous declaration. "He's fine though."

 

"I'm glad to hear that." Derek smiles lightly, nuzzling his face against Mac's fur. "Uncle Scott... Scott McCall?" The man inquires.

 

"The very same." Stiles nods.

 

"He's quite the Alpha, right Spence?" Derek grins.

 

"He helped Dee-Dee take down an ogre!" His son says excitedly, shaking his father to get his emphasis across. Stiles grabs him and settles him in his lap again, holding his arms at his sides to calm him.

 

"Settle down, rugrat." He snickers, listening to the child groan about the nickname.

 

"Derek, who are you-" Cora pauses when she sees them, half of her body leaning out the room. She looks tired and a little pale, unlike Derek, who looks downright haggard.

 

"Witch!" Spencer gasps, Cora smiles slightly.

 

"That's Cora, my younger sister." Derek informs the boy, who nods.

 

"I'm a pretty cool chick on my off time. Doesn't mean I won't cast a spell on you in the forest." She reaches a hand out and Spencer squeaks before turning to cling to his father.

 

"You're dating Lydia." Stiles can't stop himself from saying, Cora's eyes widen and Spencer scrambles out of his lap to look at the adults in disbelief.

 

"Mommy's dating a witch?!" He exclaims with a grin, Cora nods hesitantly.

 

"Cool!" The boy jumps up and down in excitement. "Maybe mommy could fight Dee-Dee with Ms. Cora and you could help Dee-Dee!" He suggests.

 

Derek looks over at Stiles with a smirk. "You'd make a pretty good mage." He says with a shrug.

 

"I'd be honored." He says dramatically, gasping for affect.

 

"You're hired, nobody can be worse than Isaac. We can talk about rehearsing over the phone." Cora pulls a card from her pocket and grabs a pen out of the little folder thing against the wall that holds patient information. She writes something on the back, then hands it to him. "My personal number is on the back, so is Derek's. He'll probably text you." She informs him with a shrug.

 

"Okay.. I'll be in touch." Stiles mutters, Derek stands and Velcro's Mac's leash around his wrist.

 

"See you, Dee-Dee." Spencer grins, waving a hand.

 

"Don't be late next week, cub." Derek winks at him, and then the two disappear down the hall. Leaving Stiles wondering what the fuck just happened.

 

"Can we go to Wendy's?" Stiles face palms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( Hope you liked this new installment of the fic! Enjoyed it? Leave a comment below! )


	4. Snap And Swing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A month after the day at the hospital, Stiles returns to Derek's meetings. Things go terribly wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( Warning, this chapter contains a homophobic slur. Also, one of the characters suffers from a minor anxiety attack resulted from a hostile interaction. )

According to Spencer, meetings were cancelled for two whole weeks after the run-in at the hospital. Stiles understood, the guy lost his sister, her obituary was in the paper. Laura Quinn Hale, according to the article, she had been in a coma for almost five years. There had been an arson she was caught in, and a beam had fallen on top of her. She had been on life support in hopes of waking up by some random miracle, unfortunately that didn't happen.

 

The only surviving members of the family were apparently Cora and Derek. The picture that went with the article was of a beautiful young woman with sparkling eyes and a striking resemblance to her siblings. Stiles hoped that Derek could overcome this, his sister obviously meant a lot to him.

 

Three weeks later, Spencer reports that Derek had returned and was happier than ever. They had ran around and played outside, Derek had sang to them and played guitar. Yet, still, Stiles couldn't get the feeling that Derek wasn't happy. He knew the feeling of having to put on a smiling face for the sake of others. When his mother had died, he spent two months in almost complete solitude and misery. When his father got worried and started taking off of work, he'd pulled himself out of it.

 

He still got a little like that sometimes, where he just didn't want to do anything but lay in bed and do nothing for the rest of his pathetic life. But Spencer keeps him going, and Lydia's hanging threat of spraying him with a water hose if he's ever late for picking up their son.

 

He loved the woman, she kept him on his toes. He wondered if Cora did that for Derek.

 

That was the moment he decided to use his rare day off on a random Wednesday to attend the meeting. He gets there a little late, so the meeting has already started when he steps into the door and closes it quietly behind him. Derek is talking with wild gestures and a great big grin on his face, but truth be told, he looked a little haggard around the eyes.

 

He still had Mac on his leash, which he never did while they were in the room. The leash was attached to his wrist and his fingers gripped at the expanse of fabric with a tight grasp. Derek was basically leaping around the room, Mac following him around without protest. Stiles finds a seat next to Lydia, who shoots him a quiet look that tells him exactly what he was thinking. She's noticed Derek's slightly off behavior, probably saw the obituary as well.

 

"You see, everyone is born amazing. Nobody in this room is any less than anyone else. It's so great, because even if you're not as tall or not as smart as someone, you're still valuable." He explains the word valuable to the group when a little girl asks.

 

"We all matter, kids. We all have a purpose in this life, and it's up to you to find out what that purpose is and figure out how to do it." He sounded like a motivational speaker today, but the kids were listening as usual. Then the door opens and a man walks in, standing near the door. From his body language, he doesn't look too happy, stoic and tense.

 

"So don't let anyone tell you what you feel is wrong or bad in any way! Your feelings and opinions matter, so you be you and you only." He makes a little boy stand up, Henry, if Stiles recalls correctly. Derek confirms this when he addresses the boy.

 

"What do you want to do when you grow up?" He asks, Henry smiles shyly. "Anything." Derek assures.

 

"A doctor." Henry says with a nod.

 

"Wow, a doctor.. That's important, one day you could save lives. That might just be your purpose... And heck, if you change your mind, that's okay! You could want to be a doctor, or a lawyer, or a fireman! A computer analyst." He has to pause and explain what a computer analyst is to Henry.

 

"The point is, that this is your life. You make decisions and choices that shape you. You could make a person's day brighter by just smiling and saying hello... You are a superhero, every one of you." The kids clap and cheer as Derek does a little bow.

 

"Okay, now, we're going to get into groups and we're going to make up stories together... Your own story, but you have to make it with your group." The man at the other end of the room steps forward, pulling Derek's attention to him. "Can I help you, sir?"

 

The man walks over, before he can get too close, Mac sits in front of Derek's feet.

 

"Who told you that you could tell my kid that it's okay to act like a girl?" Derek's eyebrows raise slightly, blinking a few times.

 

"Are you talking about Jamie?" He asks with a frown as a woman steps forward.

 

"Paul, leave." She demands quietly, Stiles inches closer.

 

"He said he liked dresses.. I asked his mother and she said that I should reassure him that was okay." Derek explains simply.

 

"That's definitely not okay, who are you to teach my kid this liberal bullshit?" Derek blinks in disbelief, seeming more in shock by the guy's words than nervous by them.

 

"These kids need guidance and usually I'm a nice father figure for kids without dads." It's a jab, and Stiles is ready to go over there and break it up. The kids are staring and the parents look nervous. Mac's ears are back in fear, but he remains still in front of Derek, sitting up and making a physical barrier between the men.

 

"You're no father. You're just a faggot." He grabs two fistfuls of Derek's shirt and Derek lets out a quiet startled noise. "I oughta tear you to shreds." He growls, shaking the man roughly. Derek makes another wounded noise, before he shoves the other man away.

 

Stiles rushes forward just as Paul goes in for a punch, before he can even reach them, Derek grabs Paul's hand mid-swing and uses the man's forward momentum to forcefully spin the man and pushes him away. Paul hits the ground on his knees with a grunt, right in front of Stiles.

 

Derek steps back, eyes wide and losing focus quickly. Mac is going nuts, licking at Derek's hand and nudging forcefully against his leg, attempting to get his attention. Then Derek just... Collapses.

 

He falls back onto the floor, knees angled close to his chest as he ducks his head and hides his face behind his arms. Mac attempts worm his way under his arm, sitting down as he shoves his snout in the little space between Derek's chest and knees. Stiles grabs Paul and pulls him to his feet.

 

"Get out, now. I see you near this man again, you're getting arrested." He snarls, shoving the man away. "Everyone else, meeting's over." He says with a sigh, all the kids look hesitant to follow their parents' urging. Lydia is holding Spencer, standing just a few feet away. "Lydia, go find someone.. Erica, Isaac, someone." He says quietly.

 

"Can't you help? You have anxiety attacks." Lydia questions.

 

"I don't know how to help Derek specifically. PTSD is a whole different ball park, just go." He commands, Lydia nods and walks out.

 

Then, Stiles drops down onto all fours. Gets a little closer to Derek, listening to his ragged gasps that were edging on hyperventilating. Mac is still squirming, trying to get closer to Derek, but he's blocked his face because the dog's snout is just nudging at his arm forcefully.

 

"Derek?" He murmurs, unsure of how to approach this. "Derek, can you hear me?"

 

Footsteps race across the carpet, skidding to a stop next to him before dropping down. Isaac. Stiles looks back, watching Erica and Lydia stand with Spencer across the room near the door. 

 

"He doesn't respond well to having women near him like this." Isaac answers, already spotting his confusion. "Thanks for not touching him, though. You would have probably sent him into a full on break down." The young man says softly.

 

"So what do we do?" Stiles questions, Isaac sighs, scooting forward a little more.

 

"Derek? I know you want some time alone, but first we have to make sure that you're a little calmer." His voice is quiet and soothing. "One finger up if you understand." There's a hesitation, Derek's fingers fidget where they're clasped around his arms. Then, one lifts carefully. "Good.. That's good.. One finger for yes, two for no." The young man says, settling down on his bottom with his legs crossed.

 

Derek's harsh breathing has slowed significantly, partially from the calm communication, probably mostly from Mac's unrelenting nudging. Stiles had been researching PTSD service dogs. Apparently by getting the owner's attention, it could distract them from their panic and bring them down from their episode.

 

"Do you know where you are?" It makes Stiles' chest tight, the idea that Derek sometimes had attacks that took his reality out from under him. But, one finger raises. "Okay, you gonna puke?" Two fingers rise slowly after a moment. "Should I call Cora?" Two fingers shoot up without hesitation.

 

They sit in silence for a moment, Isaac's face is a little pensive.

 

"Do you want someone to drive you home?" One finger. "I came with Erica...." Isaac sighs.

 

"What does that mean?" Stiles asks softly.

 

"It means that I could only use her car, which smells like perfume because she spilled a bottle of it in there the other day... Derek can't stomach it, especially right now." He looks frustrated, helpless.

 

"I could drive him." Stiles volunteers, Isaac gives him a wary look. "My car probably only smells like coffee." He shrugs.

 

"Derek?" Isaac turns back to look at the man. "Stiles can drive you home if you like... That all right? You remember Stiles, yeah?" There's nothing for a moment, Mac whines softly as Derek slowly drops his arms to drape around his knees. His face is red, eyes glassy with tears, mouth set in a slight scowl. He observes Stiles with caution.

 

Stiles simply smiles a little, pulling his keys from his pocket and shaking them a little.

 

"I'm a cop, couldn't get any safer." He says jokingly, Derek continues to stare at him. "Maybe Isaac could come with us?" He suggests.

 

"I could." Isaac agrees, Derek looks back and forth between them before finally giving a small jerk of his head.

 

"All right then." Derek lets Mac climb into his lap when he stretches his legs out, cuddling him close and burying his face against the dog's dark fur. They give him another few minutes, just gaining his strength back, before the man gets up, still gripping his dog's leash.

 

"Blue Jeep." Stiles says simply, leading the way. He lets the two go past him, turning back to Lydia and Spencer as the men walk away. "I'll see you tomorrow, kiddo." He presses a kiss to Spencer's forehead.

 

"Is Dee-Dee gonna be okay?" Spencer sticks out his bottom lip, amber eyes shining with worry.

 

"He's a little upset, tired probably... Just needs some rest." He assures his son, tussling his hair.

 

"Tell him I hope he feels better, and I'm sending him good vibes." Stiles can't help but snort as his boy presses his fingers to his temples and concentrates with squinted eyes.

 

"I will." He agrees, walking away and heading for the front door of the library.

 

Derek is completely silent on the way back, arms in a firm embrace around Mac, who was sitting just as quiet and still in the man's lap, occasionally licking his face or nuzzling his neck. When they get to the house, Stiles is a little surprised at the size of it. Must be lonely, even if Cora is there. But there's no other cars there, they walk Derek to the front door.

 

Derek unlocks the door, then unclips Mac's leash from his collar.

 

"Lights." He says hoarsely, the dog walks inside. A light in the main hallway comes on, followed by several others as the dog trots from room to room. When the dog comes back, Derek pets him and scratches his ears. Stiles is hesitant, but Isaac enters the house after Derek so he just follows.

 

Derek pauses in the main foyer.

 

"Who's there?" He asks in a slightly excited hushed voice, Mac's ears perk up and his tail goes stiff. They stand there a few moments, before Mac loses interest in the comment. Derek sighs, heavy and exhausted, but also relieved. He runs a hand through his hair, turning back to Isaac and Stiles.

 

"Thanks." He says gruffly, avoiding their eyes.

 

"Any time." Stiles says, just as Isaac murmurs softly. "Of course."

 

They're quiet for a long time, Mac is sitting next to Derek's legs, leaning against him.

 

"I could stay, until Cora gets home." Isaac says, but Derek frowns and shakes his head slightly.

 

"I'll be fine." He turns and steps onto the staircase. "Lights." He repeats, Mac races ahead of him upstairs, lights coming on above them on the upper floor. "Thanks again, lock the door on your way out." Isaac does indeed lock the door once they've stepped outside.

 

"I worry about him, he's like my big brother." Isaac explains, pocketing his keys. "We roomed together in college." He shoots a glance over at Stiles when they get into the car. Like he expects Stiles to start asking questions.

 

"None of my business.. Curiosity doesn't give me a right to ask." He says simply.

 

"I'd tell you, but it's not my story to tell." Isaac replies quietly, they sit in the car for a few minutes just staring up at the house before them.

 

Stiles can't really sleep that night, too caught up in the image of the fear on Derek's face when he got grabbed so roughly that flashed through his mind whenever he closed his eyes. He wishes he could have done more, acted a little faster, helped Derek out more... He seriously wanted to hug the guy, which really sucked considering the situation.

 

Stiles couldn't help it, he was a tactile guy. Which was another reason that going after Derek just wouldn't work out. He tries to push the man from his thoughts, somehow managing finally to close his eyes and get some sleep.

 

He hoped Derek could do the same.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( Hope you liked the new chapter! Please leave kudos and comments if you liked it! I'd really appreciate the feedback, I live off of you guys' reactions! )


	5. Hugs And Flirting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles brings Spencer to get a book and ask about Derek, things escalate in a way he's not sure to handle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( This chapter switches between Stiles and Derek's perspective. Thanks for waiting for me to update! )

By Saturday morning, Spencer is begging Stiles to bring him to the library. He was insisting on talking to Erica, who was at the library every day, who would probably know how Derek is doing. Of course, Stiles is pretty curious himself, but they really shouldn't bother people.

 

Then again Stiles was never one for being too polite.

 

So they go to the library and Stiles makes his son pick out a book, who complies easily even though he was fidgeting and kept glancing over at Erica who was sitting at the main desk on her phone. Spencer browses the kid's section and gets two books instead of one, proving his dedication.

 

The boy strolls up to the front desk, Stiles in tow with his own young adult novel (He has a love for them, no matter the age.). Erica grins at them and asks how they are, Spencer nods quietly and offers his books, Stiles holds out his own along with the library card.

 

"So... How's Dee-Dee?" Spencer goes for nonchalance but he misses it by a long shot. Erica laughs softly as she scans Stiles' card and rings up the books.

 

"He's in a bit of a weird place, but if you're quiet you can see him.." Erica tells him with a smirk, Spencer jumps excitedly.

 

"He's here?" He spins around, searching for the man, Stiles does his own gaze around the main library.

 

"He's off in the back office, reading on a couch." She points them to a small hallway just past the desk. "First door on your right." Spencer basically sprints away as Stiles thanks Erica, following the boy hurriedly.

 

Stiles knocks on the door to alert their presence, pushing the door that was already ajar. Derek's reclined on a black leather couch, a book clutched in his hands and propped up on his chest. His usual wardrobe was altered, the normally tight attire was now looser. He was in a loose t-shirt and slightly baggy looking jeans.

 

His earrings were simple black studs today, but what he noticed most was that Derek had dyed his hair light blue. He's staring at them when he adjusts to sit up, Stiles focuses on the rainbow tattoos on his arms. The left one had a wolf head with fur painted different colors, it was a stark contrast to his deep tan. On the other arm was a bird, it was brightly colored as well, the colorful feathers like flames. A phoenix perhaps.

 

"Hey." He gives a small smile, but he doesn't seem his usual perky self. "Erica revealed my secret hide out." He says with a laugh that's much too soft and a little empty.  His normally bright eyes are not even close to their normal selves, a little dead and sad.

 

"We can go, just wanted to make sure you were okay." Stiles explains, Derek shrugs and tilts his head from side to side, his neck cracking with the movement. Mac startles Stiles a little when he moves from underneath the desk in the room, where he can now see a bed placed underneath. He leaps onto the couch and makes himself comfortable, as if he'd been waiting for Derek to move his feet so he could join his master.

 

"It's fine, it's good to see you." Derek leans forward to rest his elbows against his knees, sighing quietly.

 

"You changed your hair." Spencer steps away from his dad hesitantly, closer to Derek. He plops down just a foot away from Derek, crossing his legs and smiling up at him.

 

"Yeah, I thought it was time for a change." The man grins, eyes sparkling a little with amusement.

 

"What about the Smurfs?" Stiles questions jokingly, Derek lets out a soft chuckle.

 

"This is definitely baby blue, the Smurfs are a darker color." He snorts as if it's an obvious observation, shaking his head at Spencer like 'can you believe this guy?'. Spencer giggles and Mac moves his head to rest it on Derek's lap, Stiles and Derek are probably the only ones to notice that Derek startles a little at the contact. Spencer simply waves at the dog, smiling, Mac's tail thuds softly against the couch as it wags.

 

"Are you coming back next week?" Spencer asks, Derek runs a hand through his newly baby blue hair.

 

"I'm not sure yet, I have to make sure that I can be fun and happy for you guys. If I show up all sad and boring, then that's not fun." Derek mutters, Spencer lets out a deep sigh, making both adults smile at his dramatic noise.

 

"We're not there because you're fun, well sort of... But if you wanted us to just sit around and talk to you we'd be okay with that." The boy explains with a flail of his hands, the spitting image of his father.

 

"I'll take that into consideration." Derek's smiling lightly, looking a little better than he did when they walked in. He still looks tired, twitchy, slow. It seems so out of character, but after the fight just the other day, he doesn't really blame the guy.

 

"Good. Can I have a high-five?" Spencer holds up his hand, Derek offers a wary look to the hand, then to Stiles as if asking him a silent question Stiles cannot understand.

 

"How about a hug?" He holds out his arms, glancing over at Stiles, offering him a reason to say no. But Spencer lights up, scrambling to stand.

 

"Really?! You're sure?" He's already inching forward, but when Derek nods he basically plows into Derek's chest. Derek embraces him gently, smiling a little at Stiles.

 

"Thanks, kid." He says when they part.

 

"If you ever need another one, ask me... If I'm at school.." The boy taps his chin with thought, before pointing back at Stiles. "Ask my dad, he loves hugs more than anyone!" He giggles, Derek's eyebrows raise hesitantly as he looks over at Stiles.

 

"I'll do that." Stiles' entire face is so hot he's sure it's bright red, not sure if that was a pass or not. His smile is kind and genuine, but his eyes sparkle with mischief. "Thanks again for coming by." He says as they walk towards the door again.

 

"Of course, got to make sure the Alpha is safe." Stiles jokes as Spencer rockets off down the hall.

 

"Speaking of which, are you free next Friday afternoon? We like to go over our rehearsals on Fridays, practice fighting and whatnot." His hands are clasped in front of him, obviously a little uncomfortable. "That is, if you're still up for it." He scrambles to add.

 

"I get off at six." Stiles informs him.

 

"That'll do.. We'll be in the den, just come around and we'll go over stuff." The man tells him with a shy smile, a totally different person from the guy that had been (maybe?) flirting with him from across the room.

 

"I'll see you then." Stiles agrees, before turning and heading off to find Spencer again. He pauses then, turning back and looking at Derek, who seemed a bit nervous that Stiles was looking at him with such scrutiny. "That color looks great on you... My favorite color's red, but your hair is trying to change my mind." Derek's mouth gapes, opening and closing a few times. He nods, but Stiles doesn't really understand what he's nodding about.

 

The man turns and scurries back into the room, the back of his neck and the tips of his ears pink. Stiles smiles a little, ready to turn away and bask in his victory. Then Derek's head pops out, his glasses slipping down his nose slightly and cheeks a soft pink.

 

"You should um... Text me." He disappears again, slams the door, Stiles chokes on his own spit. He only moves from his frozen spot when Spencer whines at him to go home because he was missing the Steven Universe marathon.

 

He goes home and hunts for the card Cora had given him, puts Derek's number into his phone. He types about eight different versions of his greeting, before finally settling.

 

_**To Derek:** _

_**Hey, it's Stiles :)** _

 

He regrets it instantly, finding fault in it. First of all, that smiley face was way too much, second thing wa- His phone beeps, cutting off his thoughts.

 

_**From Derek:** _

_**Hey. :)** _

 

What does that mean? What did he think of that smiley face? Was it just friendly, was it flirty? There was no wink, but at the same time the smiley face looms over him menacingly. He glares at the smiley face, trying to tune out the theme song of Steven Universe which Spencer was screaming along to. It's a catchy little theme, but he definitely doesn't want to hum it for a week, thanks.

 

**_To Derek:_ **

**_that hug made spencer's day_ **

 

He sits back against his headboard and sighs, rubbing a hand over his face.

 

_**From Derek:** _

_**really? made my week.** _

 

Stiles feels the sadness well in his chest, hurting for the poor guy. He was traumatized by touch, but that didn't mean he didn't enjoy it at some point. Part of him debates on asking Derek what happened to him, but then shakes away his stupidity. 

 

**_To Derek:_ **

**_spencer is willing to give you as many hugs as you want, trust_ _me._ **

 

It seems a little odd, and Stiles probably shouldn't whore his son out for hugs with some guy. He expects Derek to get weirded out and never text him again, and after a few minutes he's accepted his fate and tosses his phone down on the comforter. But then scrambles to grab it when it buzzes, heart beating fast as he reads the words.

 

_**From Derek:** _

_**what about you?** _

 

_**To Derek:** _

_**i'm okay with spence hugging you.** _

 

That's when Stiles realizes that might not be what Derek meant, face feeling hot as he longs to take his previous text back. What if he was trying to flirt? Did that mean he wanted Stiles to hug him too??? Why was this so hard?

 

**_From Derek:_ **

**_haha ok_ **

 

He's not used to Derek's text lingo but he thinks he just royally fucked something up. He groans loudly, deciding that a good flailing on the bed was appropriate before burying his face in a pillow. Derek doesn't send anything else, Stiles doesn't either.

 

-

 

Flirting was never Derek's strong suit in the first place, he was awkward and quiet, and he used to stumble over his words a lot in high school. The last few days had been... Taxing, to say the least. He had gone home after the argument, courtesy of Stiles and Isaac, only to pass out in his bed for a while before waking up screaming. Every day since had consisted of Mac searching every room extensively before he entered, and having anxiety attacks about noises he hears.

 

And then there was this morning. When he woke up at four in the morning and couldn't get back to sleep. He'd then a few hours later have a panic attack that ended with Mac on his chest licking at his face for about ten minutes. That's why he'd gone to the library, staying at the house was too much, or really, not enough. Nobody was around, he needed to hear background movement and things going on around him, but not too much.

 

So he'd shown up around seven, gave Erica a tired wave and retreated into the back. Isaac came around a few hours later and knelt next to him where he was curled up on the couch staring at nothing. He'd grown close to Isaac over the years he'd known him, at first he was just a snobby little dude who wanted nothing to do with him. But then, he'd noticed the nightmares Isaac woke from frequently and they'd started talking and bonding.

 

He actually might still have been in an awful place if it weren't for Isaac.

 

So the young man sits by the couch, asks him if he can touch then sets to combing his fingers through his hair. He knows that's the only way to make Derek agreeable when he's in one of his moods. Talks him into getting pizza, "Because you're starting to look like a sick puppy." were his exact words. They eat pizza with Erica and then they both disappear into the library again.

 

And then Spencer and Stiles drop by, and he gives Spencer a hug because he really needs one and the kid really always looked so sad to only be getting high fives. Then he'd flirted with Stiles and was not prepared for him to flirt back, gotten flustered then told the guy to text him before slamming the door and cuddling his dog to calm himself down a bit because he was way too hopped up on adrenaline.

 

Later that afternoon he'd started texting Stiles, and then he'd fucked up.

 

Stiles had told him that Spencer would gladly hug him whenever, and he'd asked 'What about you'. He'd regretted it instantly, sounding like some pervert or something. It was creepy enough to hug his kid, but now he seemed like a complete weirdo. And Stiles had simply shrugged it off and said, almost as if he misinterpreted the insinuation that he didn't mind Spencer hugging him.

 

That had led to him moping in bed for a few hours until Cora got home.

 

"Have you been in bed all day?" She demands, hands on her hips, he shakes his head against his pillow before turning and hiding his face behind Mac's fur. "Still feeling sick?" He didn't really understand Cora's way of bringing about his PTSD and depression, but it obviously was an uncomfortable subject. She was scared of offending him, he guessed. So whenever he was in a mood or feeling anxious and scared, she asked him if he felt 'sick'. He'd always just went with it, mostly because he didn't want to argue, but also because he sort of was sick in a way.

 

She sits down on the bed, he can feel her moving a little, like she reached out then changed her mind.

 

"Did you go down to the library?" He nods against Mac's fur, squeezing the dog gently. "Did anything happen before that?" She really hates bringing up his attacks, because it made them both uneasy and awkward. He nods once more, swallowing down the sick feeling of weakness that made his hands tremble. They're both quiet for a few minutes, until Derek deems himself safe from any awkward breaks in his voice.

 

"Stiles flirted with me." Cora frowns, growing tense.

 

"Did he make you uncomfortable?" He sighs and shakes his head.

 

"I sorta flirted with him first.." He admits quietly.

 

"That's great!" She beams, excited suddenly. "Do you like him?"

 

"Yeah, but I think I screwed it up." He mutters, before she can ask he grabs his phone and shows her the texts.

 

"Oh, big brother." She sighs with a small smile. "I think he misunderstood." She hands him the phone.

 

"Are you sure? What if he thinks I'm just a creep?" He turns his head away from his sister, almost touching noses with Mac who's staring at him with this sort of unimpressed expression on his face. "You shut up." He grumbles, Cora snorts and stands.

 

"Lydia has told me about Stiles, he's a bit thick like you. You're both way beyond subtle and don't know how to take a hint. It's perfect." She declares with a grin.

 

"I'm not thick." Derek argues, she simply continues to smile.

 

"Oh yeah, perfect." She prances from the room, Derek turns over and pulls Mac closer.

 

"Do you think I'm thick?" He asks the dog softly, who simply huffs and looks away. "So much for support." He grumbles, blows softly at the dog's ear until it flicks and bends back in annoyance, the dog picking its head up to lick him in the face.

 

He tilts his head away, staring up at the ceiling. Could Stiles really like him? Should he? Derek was beyond fucked up, and he couldn't imagine getting involved with this guy's life, especially since he had a kid... Stiles had a job, had a kid, had a life. Derek had a sister, a group of kids he talked to every week, and can't even function properly! What if Stiles tried to kiss him? What if he wanted more and broke up with Derek because he wasn't ready?

 

After that, Mac has to calm him down when he edges close to an anxiety attack at the possibilities of the future hanging over his head. He eventually recovers enough to get into his pajamas. He curls up under the covers with Mac in his arms and drifts off with the bedside lamp still on, like always. One of his final thoughts as sleep takes hold is that no matter how much he wants to give relationships another try, he shouldn't make the Stilinski's lives harder than they are.

 

That just wouldn't be fair.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( Did anyone order a good helping of misunderstandings and self-hatred? Welp, too bad, you got it anyway! Thanks so much for reading, hope you liked it! If you did, please comment below! )


	6. Rehearsal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles really isn't an actor, but he can definitely lie, it's the same thing right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( This one goes out for teenwolftuesdaytrash, who messaged me on Tumblr saying in a very angry way that they love my writing! I hope you enjoy this romance trash fest I'm about to throw at you! Also, like that fan, you too can message me on Tumblr. Talk to me, send me fic recs maybe, I'd love it! Nobody ever messages me on Tumblr and it makes my day when someone does! Talk to me about your headcanons of Sterek, talk to me about how much you guys love Derek and Stiles! Feed this Sterek trash can!!! )

When Stiles arrives at the library for rehearsal on Friday, he feels a little embarrassed for being so excited. It's just a little scene for a bunch of kids, something cute and stupid. When he gets to the room, Cora and Lydia are standing near the tree stump with Isaac. Boyd and Erica are talking to Derek a good ways away. Lydia and Cora's conversation seems more at ease and nonchalant, Derek, Boyd, and Erica's seems to be more serious.

 

"Stiles!" Derek's face lights up when they lock eyes, the man trots over with a smile on his face. Mac is off lounging in his little bed in the tree stump, but his dark brown eyes are tracking Derek as he walks. "I'm so glad you could make it!" His cheeks are slightly red along with the tips of his ears, hands shoved into the pockets of his shorts.

 

"Of course, I'd never miss and opportunity to act." He snorts, Derek nods and turns back to the others, the joke seeming lost on him.

 

"Okay everyone, today the witch has brought the evil queen with her to cast a spell over the forest to kill all the wildlife." The man explains with complete seriousness. "We don't have any casualties of course, because this is for kids. But injuries today include Isaac and Erica." He tells them as he makes a few gestures with his hands.

 

Derek takes it so seriously, Stiles wasn't really expecting him to be serious about anything. But no, he explains the positions and everything.

 

"Stiles, Lydia. You're new to the cast, you'll be outside with Cora awaiting a signal." Derek informs them with a nod. "Cora enters, she signals Lydia, Stiles will come in about two minutes afterwards." He spins around to look at each of them, calculating something in his mind. When he thinks his slightly bushy eyebrows come together and dip down, usually bright eyes filled with complete professionalism.

 

"What about the Betas?" Erica inquires, Derek bites his lip as he observes Erica, Isaac, and Boyd.

 

"When the kids get here, I'm going to explain to them that the queen's soldiers have been patrolling the forest. That gives you three a reason to be inside the room with us, for extra protection." He says with a wave of his hand, pursing his lips. "Lydia, do you mind wearing a costume?" He asks, Lydia raises an eyebrow at him.

 

"As long as it isn't ridiculous." She shrugs.

 

"I've got a perfect dress that looks nice but evil, we can make our own crown maybe." Cora offers.

 

"Fashionable and evil, sounds like Lydia's kind of style." Stiles comments with a smirk, earning a grin from the Betas and a small smile from Derek. Lydia reaches out and smacks his arm, Cora rolls her eyes, but seems amused. "What? It's true, Lydia is fierce." Lydia looks a little more approving of that word choice, Cora looks like she agrees and gives Lydia a sort of look that Stiles was wearing years before for the woman. One of true infatuation.

 

"Anyways, Stiles you'll probably have to wear something too." Derek tells him, before grabbing his shoulders and facing him forcefully in his own direction. Stiles is a little bewildered by the sudden touch, nobody else seems to really notice or find it odd. Maybe because Derek was in the zone, looking focused with his eyes shining as the cogs turn in his mind.

 

"Like what? What am I again?" Stiles inquires.

 

"A mage, you're a new version of red riding hood." Derek says, earning a few snickers from the group. Stiles' face heats up, wasn't that a girl? "Don't be so ridiculous. A red cape with a hood along with a wand and black clothes beneath, you're a badass." Stiles had never heard Derek curse before, was it bad that he wanted to hear Derek with a dirty mouth?

 

"A badass?" He echoes.

 

"A high powered sorcerer that saved the life of my pack years before." Derek smiles gently as he crosses his arms.

 

"Cool." Stiles agrees, although he misses the heavy warmth of Derek's palms on his shoulders. "I can do that." He agrees.

 

"I'll get the cape, you'll just have to wear black that day." The man offers, before turning away and looking around like he's forgetting something.

 

"Scripts, Dee." Cora comments, he points at her with a smirk, snapping his fingers as he disappears over to the shelves and digs through a box. He pulls out a few small packets, handing them out.

 

"Now the lines don't have to be exact, if you forget then just improvise. Just get the main stuff down." Cora explains, Derek shoots the girl a scowl like she's ruining his life's work. There's a few pages per packet, simple things and stage directions. Stiles was in a play in middle school once, he played Mercutio in Romeo and Juliet because the teacher thought that he had the spastic personality that could make the play a little more lighthearted. He died with more flail and drama than anyone else, earning a good laugh from everyone in the crowd... Those were the good days.

 

"Okay, now, positions. We start from the top." Derek moves and everyone else scatters towards their places. Lydia grabs Stiles' arm and they retreat outside with Cora.

 

"My signal is one of Derek's lines, which is pretty hard to listen for. So you're gonna need to be quiet." She murmurs to them, they both nod. They're silent as she stands just at the closed door with her hand on the handle. "Look at your own cues and be ready." She whispers, they both look down at their scripts.

 

_**Derek howls.** _

 

_**-Momentary Pause-** _

 

_**Enter Red (Stiles)** _

 

Stiles feels his heart flutter for no reason, damn feelings.

 

He catches a slightly louder tone of voice from Derek on the inside and Cora waits only a moment before swinging the door open. Lydia grabs the door and holds it open, Stiles almost tells her to close it but he catches Cora say something just moments later and she swings herself inside. He lets the door close, placing his hand on the slightly warm metal of the door handle. His pulse is beating fast as he reads over his first lines, then he hears the chilling howl Derek releases.

 

_One_

 

_Two_

 

_Three_

 

He swings the door open, strutting inside.

 

"You howled, Alpha?" He inquires coolly, offering a smug smirk to Lydia and Cora, who are looking at him in shock.

 

"The evil queen is going to poison the forest!" Derek calls out to him from across the room where he stands on the tree stump, his script is nowhere to be seen. He wrote it, he probably already memorized it. Challenge accepted, he feels lucky for reading a few lines ahead.

 

"That's ridiculous, like I would ever allow that." He rolls his eyes, before approaching the two women. "You dare stand against me?" He snarls.

 

"You are nothing but smoke and mirrors, mage." Lydia sneers, crossing her arms.

 

"The queen is right, your power is nothing but an illusion." Cora huffs.

 

"An illusion?" He smiles, wickedly almost. "I'll show you an illusion."

 

"Pause!" Derek calls, everyone turns to look at him. "Okay, that was good. We need to choreograph the fight scenes and whatnot, Cora I'll let you handle that." He waves a hand like he's shooing someone away at Cora, who makes a face before turning to the others and starting the explanation of the fight scene.

 

You have to measure every hit and punch, every movement has to be correctly calculated. If you mess up, someone actually gets hurt. Someone meaning Stiles.

 

"FUCK!" He exclaims when he gets elbowed in the face after not moving fast enough, stumbling backwards with a hand clasped over his nose. He slams into a body, that catches him with ease, holding him at the waist. He's lowered to the ground into a sitting position, when he turns his head, he finds Derek looking at him with concern. His hand gently reaches out to move his hand away, catching his chin with his fingers to hold him still as he observes the damage.

 

Derek's eyes are a mixture of colors, he forgets the word for the condition but Derek fits the requirements. They have dark brown rings on the outside, the inside filled with shades of greens and browns of all sorts, and the inner ring surrounding the pupils have a bluish tint. His forehead is crinkled slightly in concentration, eyebrows dipped down and mouth a straight line.

 

"I think you're good, no breaks or anything. Does it hurt?" He questions, Stiles shakes his head slowly, a little enraptured in Derek's face so close to his own.

 

"I mean.. A little, but it's not bad." He whispers.

 

"Cora, you could have broken his nose." He scolds, Cora rolls her eyes.

 

"He didn't move fast enough, I hit my mark, he didn't." She says without blame or anger towards Stiles. "A mistake, he just needs more practice." She mutters.

 

"It's true, I forgot to step back." He admits, Cora makes an 'I told you so' noise and gestures both hands at Stiles.

 

"Okay, well, try to keep up. Cora's a black belt in a whole ton of things, and she goes to the gym a lot and stuff." Derek says, helping him up.

 

"I could kill you if I wanted." Cora adds, there's a small glint in her eyes that makes him think she's not just commenting. Like she knows... That he's interested....

 

"Glad you didn't." Stiles dusts himself off, even though there's nothing to dust off, and they get back to work.

 

-

 

After about two hours of working, which was more tiring than he originally predicted, they all sit in the den drinking water quietly.

 

"Where's Spencer?" Derek asks after a while, realizing that both of the boy's parents were here without him.

 

"Over at Scott's." Lydia answers with a shrug.

 

"Did he know you were coming here?" Isaac asks, Lydia shakes her head.

 

"He'd want to come, don't want to spoil the surprise that mommy's an evil queen." She laughs softly, Cora smiles brightly.

 

"And that daddy's bringing cookies to the big bad wolf." He can hear the teasing in the words coming from Erica, Derek's shooting her a dark look, she just snorts. Stiles feels his face getting hot.

 

-

 

"Really, thanks for coming. We always like to switch it up and it's nice to have new characters." Derek says as they walk together out of the library. Outside the cars pass, but everything else is mostly quiet. They stand together for a moment, just looking at each other, into each other's eyes.

 

"Oh, yeah, completely fine. It was fun, really fun." He rambles a bit before shutting himself up, Derek's smiling gently. He acts before he can think, leaning forward to kiss the smirk off his face.

 

Before he can reach his mark, Derek's hands grab his shoulders and push him back. He opens his eyes, feeling a little hurt and possibly guilty for getting the wrong signals. Derek's eyebrows are dipped down slightly and his eyes dart around like he's looking for a reason to run away. His stomach flips a little, feeling immediately guilty at the assumption he made.

 

"Sorry.. I just thought.." He shakes his head, turning away and hurrying back off to the car. He listens to Derek call his name once before leaping into the car and shoving his keys into the ignition. Tears of shame and humiliation in his eyes as he pulls out of the parking lot and drives away.

 

God, he was an idiot.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( Thought you were gonna get a sweet kiss, yeah? Sorry! Well, not really.... Anyways, talk to me on Tumblr! I'm bigbadlittlered, come around and message me. I don't bite, I'm extremely bored and will talk about everything Sterek with you guys!!! )


	7. Try Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles gets a great lecture from Lydia and Cora.

Stiles goes home and settles down on the couch, turning on his TV. He's pretty damn ready to mope like a sulky teenager, and he's only slightly ashamed of himself. He made a move because he thought Derek liked him, and the man had pushed him away. How could he have been so stupid?

 

He turns over onto his stomach, stuffing his face into the couch cushion and groaning loudly. That's when he decides to just rot there forever, actually dozing slightly after a while.

 

Stiles wakes up at the sound of the doorknob jiggling, sitting up in alarm as the door opens. Cora storms in, with Lydia close behind.

 

"You're a dead man, Stilinski!" Cora lunges, but Lydia grabs her hand to stop her, Stiles scrambles off the couch and falls over the table.

 

"What?! What'd I do!?" He demands with only slight fear.

 

"I told you to watch yourself! And you had to go and fuck everything up!" The brunette snarls, Lydia looks a little disappointed but remains firm in her grip on Cora's arm.

 

"You tried to kiss Derek." The strawberry blonde says with a sigh, Stiles feels the humiliation creeping up on his cheeks in a red color.

 

"You must have had a good laugh about me... It was stupid to think he'd like me..." He mumbles, Lydia makes a noise that basically says 'you're an idiot'.

 

"You're an idiot." Cora verifies with a huff, Stiles stands slowly. "He does like you, but you went and tried to get all handsy on him without asking!"

 

It clicks then, and he feels guilt fill his stomach and chest, leaving him breathless.

 

"I... I completely forgot." He whispers, Cora rolls her eyes.

 

"You can't just 'forget' about stuff like this! Derek doesn't get to forget, so you can't either. If you want to have a relationship with someone that has PTSD then you have to be dedicated." She tells him with a scowl and a firm set jaw.

 

"I can be dedicated." Stiles hurries to answer, nodding frantically.

 

"Sit your ass down, maybe we can get you another shot." The woman tells him, he scrambles to sit down on the couch.

 

"I'm not going to tell you anything about Derek's story, because it's not mine to tell." The woman explains as she sits down on the couch, Lydia taking a seat beside her. The redhead takes Cora's hand gently and places it on her lap, holding it with her own hands. "But I'm going to tell you some vital things that will save your ass if you're gonna be with him." He nods, sitting down on the coffee table and putting his full attention on the young woman.

 

"First off, don't think that you can magically cure him. It's a stupid romantic trope that I have never seen work." Lydia says suddenly, Cora smiles lightly.

 

"Lydia's right, while you might eventually help Derek overcome certain boundaries in the future, you can't 'fix' him." She does the air quotes. "He's not broken, he's who he is because of things that have happened to him. It's not to be fixed." Stiles nods in agreement, he understood that. "He hasn't been with anyone since it happened, so I'm really not sure how he'll handle romantic relations. But I do know that if you physically do anything towards him that can be interpreted as sexual, he will shut down and there's a possibility of giving him flashbacks or anxiety attacks." Cora informs him.

 

"No sexual touching." Stiles sums up, Cora shrugs.

 

"I mean that's what I've learned... Maybe one day in the future for you guys, but I doubt it really." She murmurs. "Anyways, if he asks to be alone, respect that. Asking to be alone is his way of saying that he's not in the best state of mind and needs to sort things out. It won't always be because of you, but when it happens, give him space." Stiles feels like he should be writing this down or something, but that seems really weird. What if someone stumbled upon his list of 'ways to handle dating someone who has severe PTSD'?

 

"He got upset because I didn't ask to kiss him... Is he... Did something happen?" Stiles questions hesitantly, Cora sighs and bites her lip as she observes him.

 

"It wasn't as bad as I would expect. He came inside a little shaken up, we had to pry it from him. He's probably just at the house watching TV with Mac." She replies with ease, he feels a little bit of the guilt dissipate.

 

They're quiet for a moment, Cora thinking pensively.

 

"Sometimes he gets... In a mood... You can't really pull him from his head, he's anxious and worried about a lot of things. He gets upset really easily on those days, so you're going to have to learn to read him and figure out when to tread lightly. Because if someone does something he doesn't like, he either explodes or shuts down completely."

 

"Does he get panic attacks?" Stiles asks softly.

 

"I'm assuming you know the difference between anxiety and panic attacks then." He nods, he got both when he was younger, nowadays he only got minor anxiety attacks. Panic attacks had no reason, the person feels like they're suffocating or having a heart attack.. It's frightening, to say the least. Anxiety attacks have a cause, usually a certain thing to trigger it, setting them into an anxious state. Stiles remembers hyperventilating in sixth grade because they were supposed to make Mother's Day cards.

 

"Anxiety attacks are common, panic attacks are rare. Do not touch him if you even think he might be having one, Isaac made that mistake a few years ago and got a bloody nose from Derek's fist." Stiles feels a little nervous, he's not sure if he can handle all of this. But for some reason, he still wants to try. "All in all, listen to him. He knows how to handle himself, and with patience, you can help him if he says he needs it. But he is not someone to be coddled or treated like he's fragile. He's a person." She points a stern finger at him.

 

"Got it."

 

"He likes you Stiles, he wanted you to be prepared for what you're getting yourself into. So if you think that you can handle it, you go to my house and talk to him." Cora reaches out and pinches his arm, he hisses in pain and pulls away.

 

"What was that for?!" He demands.

 

"Good luck." She answers simply, smiling with delight.

 

"The perfect couple." Stiles grumbles at the two of them, they both flash proud smiles at him before leaning close together and pressing their lips together in a quick kiss. "I'm leaving, don't have sex on my bed or something." He waves a hand at them before getting up and grabbing his keys.

 

-

 

Derek almost doesn't get up to answer the door when someone knocks, laying on the couch with Mac atop his chest. He's a mottle of emotions at the moment, Stiles had tried to kiss him. There were a few problems with that situation. One, he likes Stiles and he'd like to eventually kiss him. Two, he didn't ask and Derek wasn't prepared. Three, Derek reacted in a way that could come off as completely uninterested.

 

Cora had talked to him about it, and Derek had explained that he really liked Stiles and he wanted a chance to date him. His sister had offered to get Lydia to talk to him, and left.

 

So now, he has to answer the door.

 

When he opens it a bit, Stiles is standing on the front step, looking a bit nervous and a little sad.

 

"Derek!" He exclaims, giving him a weak smile. "I came to... Apologize for my behavior." He tells the man. Derek stares at him for a moment, silence taking over. Then, he steps back and opens the door a little more, letting Stiles take his cue to step inside. "I completely forgot everything... I was just thinking how cute you were and how much I liked you.. I forgot, and I shouldn't have. It was stupid." The father rants with a sigh, combing his shaking fingers through his hair.

 

"It's okay.. A lot of people forget." Derek nods hesitantly, Stiles gives him an almost sorrowful look.

 

"That's not okay, Derek. You shouldn't have to be made uncomfortable because people are forgetful." He says softly, Derek looks, well he looks shocked. His eyebrows dip down then rise up, the skin between them crinkling slightly in disbelief.

 

"You sound like my therapist." He mutters, shifting slightly on his feet.

 

"Your therapist is a trained professional, you should listen to them." Stiles crosses his arms, smiling slightly.

 

"Usually people just tell me they forgot and apologize." Derek reiterates with a shrug.

 

"No, dude. This is something that's vital to knowing you. You have boundaries, more boundaries than the usual person, but boundaries nonetheless. People should respect and remember that." He does a slightly erratic gesture with his hands and pulls them close to his person when Derek flinches a little.

 

"Well... Thank you, I appreciate that." He says with another nod.

 

"I'd like to start again, if that's okay? I mean, I really like you, and Cora says that you like me too. And I promise that whatever you want or don't want will be jotted down in my mind. If you don't want to be touched, I won't touch you. If you want to be alone, I'll probably go home and worry about you to be completely honest. Getting me to shut up might be a little hard, but I assure you, it'll work eventually." He chuckles slightly when he notices Derek's soft smile.

 

"I'd like to try, at least... But I can't promise anything.. This is new." Derek informs him, he nods eagerly.

 

"Of course! If it's not what you expected or too stressful, tell me. We can be buds, we can chat it up and you can call me at four in the morning because you want to marathon shitty movies with ice cream. Hell, if we're dating you can do that too." He offers, Derek's smile turns a little shy and his ears tint a soft pink. He runs a hand through his blue hair, exhales in a sort of relieved way.

 

"Do you wanna watch TV or something?" He gestures to the doorway that leads into the living room.

 

"Dude, yes. Is Mac here? Is he off-duty because that furry fellow needs love." He questions, walking into the living room and lighting up at the sight of Mac laying on the couch.

 

"Sure, yeah. He loves to be paid attention to." Derek snickers, sitting down on the couch next to Stiles. They're far apart enough to where they aren't touching, but if they just barely lean or scooch even a bit, they'll bump together. Mac crawls across Stiles' lap, laying on top of his thighs and resting his head on Derek's leg.

 

"Cuddly little dude, isn't he?" Stiles comments as he pets the dog.

 

"Yeah, the first year with him was mostly laying in bed and cuddling. He became a little bit like me, really." He murmurs, cheeks heating up in embarrassment.

 

"That's all right, nothing wrong with cuddling. I'm a pretty big cuddler myself." He offers Derek a wink, who laughs nervously in return. "Sorry, too much?" Stiles asks quietly, Derek shrugs.

 

"I just, I can't respond to that correctly. How does one respond to a wink?" Derek mumbles.

 

"You wink back or you smack, it's all up to preference. You like it, hell yeah, give an awkward ass wink back. You don't, smack 'em in the face, or leave... You know, it depends on who you're with. You smack me, we're cool. You smack some chick at a bar, you might get beat up." He explains.

 

"I don't like bars." Derek answers as he stares at the TV.

 

"They're okay, I'm in it for the alcohol really. But I don't drink that much since Spencer came around." Stiles tells the other with a shrug.

 

"I'm not really a drinker." Derek admits, Stiles smiles.

 

"Yeah, I get that sort of vibe from you."

 

"Stiles?" Derek says suddenly, after a moment of silence.

 

"Yeah?"

 

"We should go out sometime... Like for coffee, or lunch or something." He blurts, Stiles grins.

 

"I'd like that very much, Derek." He offers, Derek smiles back, seeming bashful. "You'll have to get over being shy sometime, Derek. I'm not a shy person, you'll just have to get used to talking with me." He informs the other, who laughs a little more easily.

 

"I can try."

 

"I'm glad you're willing to." Stiles punctuates his words with a coo to the dog, who wags his tail against the couch cushions in reply.

 


	8. The Red Mage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles' performance isn't exactly like the rehearsal, the kids seem to love it though.

He meets Lydia in the back office, having come in late so Spencer wouldn't see him wearing all black and get suspicious. Cora is dressed in her usual black cloak, lounging against the desk in the corner as Lydia adjusts her hair with her crown. She's fitted in a lovely purple dress, with a sash of jewels across the stomach. Cora smirks when she sees Stiles walk in, strolling over to an open box and pulling out a big folded up red cloth.

 

"My cape?" He holds out his hands, accepts it with a grin. Stiles unfolds the fabric, splaying it out and tossing it over his shoulders. Lydia and Cora take turns fussing with it, until it's draped perfectly over his shoulders and the hood is drawn over his head in a perfect angle. Then, with a mischievous grin, Cora grabs his hand and slaps a wet piece of paper onto his hand??

 

"What is that?!" He demands, trying to pull away.

 

"Relax, loser. It's just a temporary tattoo, we got a few others too. Thought you needed to look a little less lame." She snorts as Lydia turns his head and smacks one above and below his right eye. They do one more on his other wrist, and then let him look in a mirror to see his eye. The design is smooth and goes just along his cheekbone and above his eyebrow, it looks pretty badass. The ones on his wrist are vines that disappear up into his long sleeves, to be honest, he looks wicked cool.

 

"How long are these supposed to last?" He inquires as he wrinkles his nose, feeling the glued on ink stiffly follows his skin's stretch.

 

"A few days." Cora shrugs, Stiles sighs and resigns himself to a few days of teasing from Scott. "Okay, now, we gotta get going!" Cora ushers them out, they adjust Stiles' hood once more and Stiles reads over his lines for a few minutes as they stand outside the door.

 

"Wait for your signal." Cora points a finger at each of them and swing the door open, cackling as the children scream. Stiles can't help but smile, the woman is great at being a witch. Lydia follows shortly after, Stiles glares down at his lines and mouths them to himself, stomach fluttering at the thought of a group of people staring at him. No, people always stared at him, he could do this!

 

Derek howls his signal, and Stiles pauses a moment before yanking the door open. He struts in all cool like, smirking as the kids gasp at the sight of him. Unfortunately, he isn't so cool for very long.

 

"You r-AH-ng, Alpha?" His voice warbles as he trips over the cape and screeches, hitting the carpet as the kids giggle. Stiles quickly rights himself and smiles brightly in hopes of a recovery, Derek hides a smile with a scowl.

 

"The evil queen is going to poison the forest!" He calls out, hands balled into fists. Cora and Lydia are glaring at him with malice, he almost forgets to move to his next mark. Stumbles over the cape again and blushing when the adults snicker, crossing his arms as his hood falls back off his head.

 

"Like I would allow that!" He huffs, rolling his eyes as he cocks a hand against his hip, he smiles at the kids kindly. A few wave to him, Spencer looks star-struck at the sight of his mommy and daddy playing pretend. "You dare stand against me?" He scoffs with a cocky grin as he saunters over to the women, the slower pace allowing the cape to billow behind him rather than trip him up.

 

"You're nothing but smoke and mirrors, mage!" Lydia snaps with an unimpressed expression, waving a hand at him as if he's an insignificant speck.

 

"The queen is right, your powers are but an illusion... A magic trick." Cora taunts with a wicked grin.

 

"An illusion? Oh I'll show you an illusion." He knows that he should really have warned everyone, but he dips his hand into his pocket where a paper bag is carefully placed. He grabs a handful of what's inside and pulls it out. He spins in a circle and the red and black glitter sprays everywhere, when it finishes falling, he's produced his assigned magic wand. The kids gasp and giggle at his show, Derek looks a little star struck himself, he simply smirks.

 

"Let's dance!" He laughs, and they spiral into the fight. First he battles with Lydia, Derek swiftly switches enemies with him in a fluid and practiced movement. He doesn't even trip over his cape! When the queen staggers back, and the witch is left haggard, Stiles pulls out another handful of glitter.

 

"You are not welcome here, this forest is _our_ home!" He sprays the dust on Cora, who glares at him, but continues on with a scream of anguish before she points a finely manicured nail at him.

 

"I'll get you... And your little Alpha too!" She snaps, before turning and escaping behind Lydia.

 

"How many millennia do you think she's been holding onto that one?" He snorts, he jerks a thumb at the empty doorway while grinning at the kids, who cheer and laugh as Derek claps him on the back.

 

"That was great, Stiles." Derek breathes as all the kids scatter and race around, some give Stiles and Derek high-fives, others retreat with their parents while waving. Spencer races up immediately, allowing himself to be picked up by his father.

 

"Daddy! You got tattoos!" He reaches out and pokes at one of the temporaries. "Can I get tattoos too?" He asks.

 

"They aren't real bud, they'll come off in a few days." He tells the boy, who juts his lip out in a pout.

 

"Well, that's okay... You saved the forest! You helped Dee-Dee!" He laughs as his mother snatches him out of Stiles' hands and fakes biting his neck. "Mommy, that tickles!" The boy squeals, thrashing in her hold.

 

"That was fun." Lydia smiles at Stiles, laughing softly. "But the cool charisma of your character got turned into a dork by Stiles." The red-head tells Derek, who smiles shyly.

 

"I like it." He shrugs quietly, nudging his shoulder against Stiles'.

 

"The dork in the red hood... A legend!" Erica crows as she walks over, smiling brightly.

 

"Man, this cape was so long I kept tripping." Stiles sighs, but twirls in a circle to show it off. "But it's nice." He smiles.

 

"You look good in it." Derek compliments with pink cheeks.

 

"Thank you." He feels his own face growing hot.

 

"Stiles and Derek, sittin' in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Cora makes kissy faces at them until Derek reaches out and pokes her in the side, she jerks away with a yelp, obviously ticklish.

 

"Come on Cora, leave the boys alone." She hands Spencer to Isaac, the group slowly litters out of the room until only Stiles and Derek are left.

 

"Red was supposed to be a badass, I'm sorry I made him such a klutz." Stiles murmurs awkwardly as Derek hooks Mac's leash to the vest and returns to his side.

 

"It's fine, I think it's funny. Like, a comedic relief character, much better than a badass. Like you." He twists Mac's leash in his hands, eyes scanning the back wall.

 

"Do you... Maybe we could go get ice cream or something?" He offers, Derek gives him a slightly hopeful look. "My treat."

 

"Sure, that sounds great... Spencer and Lydia too?? Or just... Us?" He asks hesitantly.

 

"Us, if that's okay." Stiles grins when Derek nods eagerly. They walk to the Jeep together, Isaac wolf-whistles at them from across the parking lot, Stiles flips him off while Derek laughs.

 

Maybe this wouldn't be too bad.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( Bit of a short chapter, the next one should be longer though... It's pretty cute, which should make up for it's brevity... Anyways, comment if you like it! Kudos if you haven't yet! See you next time! )


	9. A Little Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles spends his first night with Derek when a bad thunderstorm hits.

Spending time with Derek is a mixture of emotions and thoughts. Every date has to be somewhere without a lot of people, not too loud. Derek won't get too close to him, instead hovers at the edge of personal boundaries like a simple acquaintance would. Of course, Stiles knows that he's attempting to convey his feelings in other ways. He smiles at Stiles' jokes and antics, listens to him with rapt attention. When he does talk, it's rather quiet and hesitant, but there have been certain moments where that slips away and he says something hilariously sarcastic.

 

He obviously doesn't go out much, besides the library and their little dates, he mostly stays home. His only friends are the ones at the library, ones he had made either at college or knew before his 'incident'. Isaac being his former roommate, Erica having been Derek's best friend all through high school. Boyd had met Erica and wormed his way into the group, he was rather quiet himself, Derek had taken a liking to his common quiet and understanding of personal space.

 

He had learned quite a bit about Derek's opinions on his sister, which weren't too surprising. While he loved his sister to death, she didn't always remember how he is now, or understand it at all. Derek often told of times where she attempted to push him into going out for a while, or did things as simple as inviting a friend over to stay the night without telling him. All things that could be understandable from her point of view, but damaging from Derek's perspective.

 

All in all, Stiles had become used to Derek's boundaries. It had taken quite a while, and a dozen mistakes, but he was starting to remember things without prompting. His love of touching people had dwindled around Derek, knowing that it bothered him to an extreme. He also learned to keep his rapid gestures to a minimum, because Derek flinching pained him more than anything.

 

Things had been slow, which he didn't mind at all. He had never really had this much time to get to know someone without there being some sort of physical aspect involved, it was new and interesting. Knowing someone's coffee order and not knowing what their tongue felt like was a breath of fresh air...

 

Okay so, maybe it wasn't all so great.

 

Maybe sometimes Derek seemed upset and Stiles wanted nothing more than to smother him in hugs, but couldn't. Or just wished to simply hold his hand or run his fingers through the other's brightly colored hair. The domestic qualities he loved, suddenly restricted and not allowed. While at the same time, he was still falling madly in love with Derek. So he was trudging through it, because there was something in him that told him that Derek was important.

 

**To Derek <3:**

_are u okay? forget about our date?_

 

They were supposed to be going to get pizza together before coming back to the house to marathon Netflix. It was the best thing about the relationship, being able to sit in their pajamas on the couch together while eating and watching TV shows... Albeit, with space between them, but together nonetheless.

 

He sighs when he doesn't get a response, worry flaring up in his chest. He observes the old house for a moment, scans the woods around him. He can't tell if Derek's car is here, he always parks behind the house for some reason. When his phone buzzes, he looks down at the glowing screen in the fading evening light.

 

**From Derek <3:**

_can you come inside?_

 

That's definitely not a normal text, Stiles is starting to panic. Is this it? Is Derek going to tell him he's calling it off? He can't even blame him, he's been a terrible boyfriend, too touchy and clingy. Derek didn't need someone like that, he needed someone who could comply to his shy and hesitant nature.

 

He gets out of the Jeep, feeling numb inside as he walks up to the door and tries the knob. It's unlocked, which makes him even more worried, because Derek had left the door unlocked. He had prepared for this, knew about it for a bit. Stiles wishes he could have had some warning..

 

He steps inside, takes in a deep breath, closes the door behind him.

 

"Derek?" He's surprised his voice doesn't crack, his legs feel shaky and he shoves his fidgeting hands into his pockets. He jumps when the phone pressed between his thigh and his hand vibrates, pulling it out to read it.

 

**From Derek <3:**

_living room_

 

Something settles unevenly in his stomach, he loses the fear of being broken up with and develops a concern. Maybe this isn't about him, Derek would have certainly called out to him, no matter what the circumstance. He always did, a quiet 'In here' that always rang out when he arrived at the house.

 

The living room is dark besides the faint glow of the television, images flickering and changing the amount of brightness around them. There's a pile of blankets on the couch, part of one hangs down and covers most of Mac's body, only his face visible. His eyes light up when he sees Stiles, but he doesn't move from his position.

 

"Derek?" He murmurs, walking further into the room and kneeling down to scratch Mac's ears. "You okay?" He can see the blankets rising and falling with every breath, but there's no actual sign of Derek other than that. The mass of fabric moves then, the top of Derek's head peeking out, a pair of eyes squint against the dim light around them as they focus on Stiles. There are dark circles under his eyes, the whites visibly bloodshot even in low light.

 

A murmur comes in reply, Stiles lifts his eyebrows in utter confusion, unable to hear the words. "Pardon?" Derek's entire face is revealed after that, mouth hanging open a moment before his tongue darts out to wet his lips.

 

"Did you lock the door behind you?" He asks, eyes flickering towards the door that leads to the foyer. Stiles is quiet for a second, trying to remember. "Did you?!" His voice is so frantic and pleading that Stiles stands.

 

"I'll check, want me to check everywhere else too?" He asks, Derek nods hesitantly before his mouth dips under the blankets again, from his nose up being the only thing visible.

 

Stiles checks the front door, which he had forgotten to lock, snaps it into place and then twists the knob to make sure. He walks around the main floor, checks the back door in the kitchen, a couple of windows, and then heads upstairs. He'd never really been upstairs, but Derek was adamant about letting Mac check upstairs before he came inside every time so it might be better to return to Derek with news that he had gone without prompting.

 

There are a lot of rooms, way more than is needed for two people and the occasional house guest. He goes through every one, or at least, opens each door. With every one opened, his heart becomes tighter and too big for his chest. Most of them are empty and almost lifeless, extremely tidy with dust on the shelves and desks. There are six in total, obviously the place was once lived in by a decently sized family. The largest room has a king bed in it, one room has two twin beds in it (A child's room, he supposes, from the toy chest near the window.), another two have queen beds.

 

Out of all the rooms, only two seem to be currently occupied, one he believes to be Cora's considering the women's clothes strung out on the chair near the door. The other has a bed that's pressed far away from windows and the door, there are two locks on the door instead of the single one. Obviously, this one is Derek's.

 

He's quiet as he descends the stairs once more, feeling like he'd just intruded on something private. Derek is still curled up under the blankets when he returns, so he simply shifts Mac a bit into his lap so he can recline against the couch where Derek is laying. His hand moves to stroke Mac's scruff and he jerks a bit when his fingers runs over a hand that's grasping onto the dog's collar.

 

"Sorry." He murmurs, settles his hand back on Mac's head, who simply huffs and sniffs at Stiles' crotch.

 

"Everything's locked?" Stiles turns his head to find Derek looking at him, hair a mess and eyes tiredly focused on him.

 

"Sealed up tight, even checked the windows and upstairs." He admits, Derek observes him for a moment warily, like he thinks Stiles will say something about the abundance of space in the house. When he doesn't, he drops his head back down on the pillow that was hidden by the blankets, sighing heavily.

 

"I'm sorry I ruined our night.." Derek whispers after a few minutes of watching the television on mute. Stiles cranes his neck to peer at Derek once more, reaches up to settle a hand on a lump of covers between them so he can see the man's entire face.

 

"You didn't ruin anything. Our plans changed, it's as simple as that. It's okay to feel like shit, I have days where I feel like shit and spend the night moping on the couch because I've had a random existential crisis." He smiles lightly when Derek's eyes crinkle up in amusement. "And I don't care if you don't want to go out for whatever reason, or if you don't want to talk. I'm here with you right now, watching some TV and relaxing." He admits with a genuine smirk.

 

"The floor isn't comfortable, is it?" Derek mutters with a grin, Stiles shakes his head.

 

"Not at all, but I was waiting for you to come out of your cocoon." He drops his head against the mound of blankets, shocked when a hand hesitantly curls into his hair, relaxing into it moments later.

 

"You can sit with me, if you want." Derek whispers, Stiles frowns a bit.

 

"And miss out on my hair being petted? No way, this is the best thing ever!" He snorts, Derek's hand lifts from his hair and he holds back a sigh of disappointment. Baby steps.

 

"You could... I mean we could... I could keep going, even if you're up here." He stammers out nervously, Stiles turns to look at him. "If that's okay." He adds.

 

"Of course that's okay." He breathes softly, feeling warmth spread in his chest. "Do with me as you will." He moves Mac's head and stands up, holding his arms out. Derek's upper body is slightly visible, despite his lower half underneath the blankets spread out along the couch. Derek's cheeks are bright red, lips pursed in thought as he observes the couch for a moment.

 

"C'mere." He shoves the blankets around and sits up a bit more, pats his blanketed lap. Stiles takes off his shoes and gets situated with his head on the pillow Derek was using that's resting on the couch arm, side pillowed on a mix of Derek's lap and more blankets. He nuzzles his face a little on the pillow, enjoying the concentrated scent of Derek that was imprinted on the fabric. The man's hand returns to his hair, twirling strands and combing through it gently, pulling a soft sigh from Stiles.

 

"Can't be doing this while I order the pizza, I gotta concentrate." He murmurs, closing his eyes against the feeling.

 

"Grab your phone then." The hand leaves his hair and he can't bite back his groan of displeasure, frowns at the snicker that comes from Derek above him.

 

"Grab your phone then." He mocks quietly, pulls out his phone and dials up the pizza place. After ordering, he reaches out to place his phone on the coffee table and settles back into his place. This time, Derek sets a careful hand on his side and the other rests against his hair, occasionally mussing the strands a bit. "This is.... Nice.." Derek admits quietly, and Stiles agrees.

 

"Yeah, just tell me if it gets to be too much." He says quietly, not even paying attention to the TV anymore, simply enjoying the contact.

 

"You're okay with this?" Derek blurts, hand going still on his head, Stiles turns on his back to peer up at him. "With me? Like this??" He seems frustrated, unsure.

 

"Of course, I wouldn't have asked you out if I didn't. I can be a patient man when it comes to things like this." He shrugs, Derek settles his hands on Stiles' stomach, clasped together. "What's this about, Derek?"

 

"I thought that if I didn't start trying then you'd leave me. I had a dream about it... It didn't end well." The man explains quietly. Stiles sits up, sliding off of Derek's lap and adjusting into the seat next to him.

 

"Do not think that you have to push at your personal boundaries for me, Derek. _You_ do what _you_ want whenever _you_ feel like it." He tells the other, who looks away with that pensive expression on his face. "Understand, Derek?" He asks, a bit softer, Derek nods.

 

"Yeah." He mutters, before looking down at his hands in his lap.

 

"Now was this whole thing for me or for you?" He inquires, Derek looks a bit unsure. "The truth, this time." He murmurs.

 

"It was for you... At first.. But it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be." The older man says, chancing a glance in Stiles' direction. "It's nice, to have you around, even when I'm upset.. Which isn't really common with most people." It makes that warm fluffy feeling return to Stiles' stomach in full bloom, he reaches out hesitantly, hand hovering above Derek's shoulder. When Derek doesn't move, he settles it down and pats him gently.

 

"You do things at your pace, Derek. We've got time." The doorbell rings, making Derek jump a bit, Stiles stands. "Stay there." He goes to get the pizzas, when he comes back, Derek is a little more hidden under his blankets, against the arm of the couch with only his shoulders and head visible.

 

"Pizza, my good man." He settles the two boxes down on the coffee table, grabs his phone as Derek leans over to open the box and grab a piece. He checks over his messages, which there are two from Scott, complaining about paper work, and one from Lydia that's a picture of Spencer with his face and hands covered in ice cream. He's not envious of his other half in that situation, Spencer on a sugar high was the absolute worst.

 

"He's adorable." Derek murmurs from right behind him, having sat up to peer over his shoulder. When Stiles looks back at him, he meets guilty eyes and a mouth with pizza sauce on the corners. "Sorry, eavesdropping..." He leans back into place, taking another bite of pizza.

 

"It's fine, I'm not a very private guy." He shrugs, sets his phone down and makes himself comfortable on the other side of the couch. Eventually his socked feet get cold and he sticks them under the blankets, smiling across at Derek when their feet brush and he doesn't move away. The rest of the night is spent watching Scrubs until they're both stuffed with pizza and dozing on a food coma.

 

Stiles only wakes when there's a loud crack of thunder, startling him into consciousness. The room is dark, too dark, the only light occurring when there's a flash of lightning followed by another deafening boom. Times like this are ones where he wishes he was with Spencer, who didn't like thunderstorms either, and often crawled into his bed when they took place.

 

Instead, he was alone on Derek's couch, curled under a blanket (Derek must have tucked him in, which he'll see as sweet when he's not so nervous.) and a pillow under his head. He hated getting anxiety from rainstorms, it wasn't the rain that made him scared, but the loud and almost unpredictable thunder. He gets up with the next strike, curling the blanket around his shoulders without a clue of what to do.

 

He actually sneaks upstairs, debates knocking on Derek's door. But then Stiles realizes that he's a grown man and that would be pathetic. He sighs as he slumps down onto the carpet in the hallway, hugging his pillow to his chest and inhaling Derek's scent. It would be a while before he could sleep again, at least until the thunder wasn't as damn loud. It's about twenty minutes later, not that he was counting, when there's a click and the door to Derek's room opens up.

 

Mac slips through the crack and yips at Stiles, Derek's head pokes out, hair tussled and eyes bleary.

 

"Scared the crap out of me, Stiles... What are you doing out here?" He mutters as he steps into the hallway, he's wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt, looking sleep soft and adorable.

 

"Oh you know... Just... Things." He flinches when the hallway lights up from the lightning outside, Derek's sleepy eyes squint suspiciously.

 

"Lightning or thunder?" He inquires.

 

"Thunder... It's too damn loud." He admits meekly, Derek nods with a sigh.

 

"Cora's like that, don't tell her I told you that though..." He looks about for a moment, wipes a hand over his face. "You can sleep in my room if you want." He offers quietly.

 

"I don't wanna make you uncomfortable, it's fine. I'll sleep on the couch, storm's probably almost over." Grip on the pillow tightening when the house shakes with thunder.

 

"Yeah... You can sleep on the side closest to the door." He says quietly, rubs at his eye as he moves down the hall to what Stiles believes is the bathroom. Mac follows him obediently, disappears behind him just before the door swings shut.

 

Stiles stands hesitantly, unsure if the offer is legit. He nudges Derek's door open, finding the lamp on and a nightlight glowing from the other side of the room. Stiles isn't one to judge, he wasn't too fond of the dark either. He settles down on the bed, pulling the blanket over his shoulders and setting the one he brought on the floor. 

 

Derek returns a few seconds later, Mac enters first and stares at Stiles a moment before getting into the doggy bed near the foot of the mattress. Derek locks the two locks on the door and moves to the bottom of the bed to get on his side, maintaining his distance.

 

Stiles sits as still as he can, laying on his back as Derek pulls the covers over himself. He settles his back to the wall as he lays on his side, observing Stiles for a moment with tired eyes.

 

"You're not afraid to sleep with me?" Stiles inquires softly, Derek tenses up a bit.

 

"Should I be?" He whispers.

 

"No! Of course not... I just thought..." He scrambles for the right words.

 

"Just remember that Mac is right below us, and if I'm in distress at all he'll call up the police with a special dog phone he has. Also, Cora knows you're here. She'll break your face and Lydia will too, or so I've heard." Derek says quietly, Stiles stares at him for a minute, waiting for a punch line. "That's not a joke, either. I'm paranoid and if you attack me I'll probably end up hurting you and my sister will gut you afterwards." He mutters softly.

 

"I'd never attack you, Derek." He promises, Derek nods.

 

"I know, just a precaution." He admits, before smiling lightly. "I've only let Isaac and Cora sleep in my room before... You're special." He smirks.

 

"You're pretty damn special too.. I haven't dated anyone since Spencer was little." He shrugs.

 

"That what this is? Dating?" Derek asks hesitantly, Stiles nods.

 

"Yeah, I think so.. If that's okay."

 

"So... If I wanted to call you.." His voice trails off, Derek tugs the covers up further. "My boyfriend?"

 

"That'd be just fine with me. We're exclusive, unless you're hiding another guy around here." That draws a soft scoff from Derek, eyes alight with amusement. "I thought not.. So yeah, boyfriends."

 

"Okay... Goodnight... Boyfriend." He ducks his head a bit to where only the top of his head is visible over the covers. "Don't forget to turn off the lamp." Stiles grabs and shoves the comforter he brought in with him between the both of them, just in case his sleeping self decides to seek out someone to cuddle. He then turns and shuts off the lamp, settles down into sleep. Stiles keeps his distance, Derek does as well, the rest of the night will be blissfully uneventful.

 

The thunder's rumbles aren't as loud as he listens to Derek's breathing even out, he realizes this is a huge step towards a closer relationship. Well, sort of. He has his dog as back up in case Stiles tries something, which he really wouldn't, but he trusts him to an extent to _not_ try something. He had fallen asleep with Stiles on the couch with him before, but inviting him into a sacred place purposely to sleep?

 

"Goodnight, boyfriend." He whispers, even though Derek is probably fast asleep.

 

 


	10. Stranger Danger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer, Stiles, and Derek go to the park together... It doesn't end in the best way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Trigger Warning at the bottom)

Stiles makes waffles one morning, using his amazing skills with the waffle iron to burn the first one. He simply tries again and fixes up a bunch, glances towards the counter when Spencer scrambles up onto it.

 

"Good morning." He grins, Spencer smiles tiredly back, wipes at his eyes. "Waffles." He says, and the boy claps his hands in approval.

 

During their meal, Spencer picks up his cup of milk and sips at it, when he lowers it he squints at his father. Stiles slows his chewing, staring back at his son. When he says nothing, Stiles puts another forkful of waffle into his mouth.

 

"Mommy says that you're meeting with Dee-Dee without me." He chokes a bit on his waffle, coughing violently until it comes out of the wrong pipe. Spencer is still staring at him curiously, waiting for an answer, like his father didn't just almost suffocate. "Are you having playdates without me?" He demands with a frown, eyebrows cinching together.

 

"Not like that... Like.. Cora with mommy..." He explains. "Adult playdates." Stiles murmurs.

 

"Like with kissing?" His face scrunches up in disgust. "Dee-Dee doesn't like touching, but he lets you kiss him?!" He exclaims.

 

"We're getting to know each other, Spence. We do meet without you, that answer your question?" He grabs his mug and swallows a mouthful of coffee.

 

"That's not fair! I met him first... I wanna have playdates too!" Spencer objects with a scowl.

 

"I dunno, Spence." He sighs, drops his fork on his plate and leans back in his chair. Stiles runs his hands over his face and through his hair, even at eleven in the morning, it was too early for this shit. "I could ask him I guess... Maybe he could come to the park with us?" He suggests, the boy lights up. "But don't get your hopes up."

 

"I won't! Just ask him!" The boy pushes his mostly empty plate away from him and drops out of his chair, racing off. "We're going to the park anyway though, right?" He says as he stops a few steps away, Stiles nods, the boy takes off running towards his room cheering in glee.

 

Stiles puts their plates in the sink and runs the water over them while he pulls out his phone.

 

**To Derek <3:**

_Want to go to the park w/ me and spence?_

 

He stares down at his phone for about a full minute, wondering if Derek even rises this early in the morning... When he had woken up the night he had spent over at the house, the man had been up earlier than he had. He had also made him breakfast, which had been a little awkward and quiet as that had eaten. Derek had blushed a bunch of times, but looked so cute in the mornings.

 

**From Derek <3:**

_sure i guess, when?_

 

**To Derek <3:**

_noon, if that's cool. cora and Lydia told him we've been having 'playdates'_

 

**From Derek <3:**

_that sounds dirty, why did you use the little quotations?_

 

**To Derek <3:**

_because they aren't playdates... they're... dates..._

 

**From Derek <3:**

_are you picking me up?_

 

**To Derek <3:**

_yeah, be ready by 12?_

 

**From Derek <3:**

_got it. see you then ;)_

 

That was definitely a winky face, glaring him in the eye. Stiles can't believe it, finds his cheeks getting hot at the simple emoticon.

 

"Daddy you look sunburnt." Spencer comments as he walks back into the kitchen, wearing a backwards t-shirt and shorts. Stiles fixes his shirt quietly, his whole face is hot when Spencer touches his cheek. "Are you gonna throw up?" The boy questions with a frown, he smirks a little and shakes his head. "Okay good because then we couldn't go to the park." He says with a nod, letting Stiles fix his hair a bit, before getting agitated and pushing his hands away after a moment.

 

"Go watch TV, we leave at 11:45." He informs the boy, who asks the time. "11: 05." He answers.

 

"How many minutes is that?" Spencer frowns.

 

"Forty." He responds.

 

"That's forever!!!" The boy whines as he trudges back into his room, Stiles laughs softly to himself as he sits back in his chair. Going on a date with Derek and Spencer.. This was serious.

 

-

 

Derek comes out wearing a black button-down and a blue jacket with skinny jeans. When he closes the door behind him, he pulls something into view, sets it atop his blue hair and adjusts it. A snapback, which makes him look like such a hipster. When he climbs into the car with a grin, Stiles notes that his earrings are now dark red flowers.

 

"Dee-Dee!" Spencer crows, Derek turns his head as he buckles his belt, smiling back at the boy in the backseat.

 

"Hey bud." He laughs, reaching back to high-five the boy.

 

"Have you been kissing my daddy?" Spencer asks curiously, Derek's face goes bright red.

 

"Spencer!" Stiles scolds, feeling his own face get hot once more.

 

"What?!" Spencer huffs, before giggling. "Dee-Dee looks sunburned."

 

"What would you think of that, Spencer?" Derek asks after a moment, hesitantly. Stiles offers him a nod, they might as well get it over with.

 

"Kissing?" The boy inquires, Derek nods. "Adults like it for some reason... Mommy and daddy are just friends, they don't do it like other mommy's and daddy's do.." He shrugs.

 

"What would you think if me and your daddy kissed?" Derek questions quietly.

 

"I'd think it was gross!" Spencer's face scrunches up again, before he smiles lightly. "So you and daddy _have_ been kissing." Stiles dislikes his kid sometimes, he had the mouth of a Stilinski all right.

 

"Not yet... But you'd be okay if your daddy and I dated... Right?" He asks, Spencer is quiet for a moment.

 

"Dated... Like... Boyfriends?"

 

"Yeah, boyfriends." Stiles affirms.

 

"So Dee-Dee would come around more?" Spencer questions.

 

"A lot more." Derek says.

 

"That'd be cool, as long as you don't kiss a lot in front of me. Cora and mommy do that sometimes..." He grimaces as Derek laughs.

 

"Okay then, we'll keep that in mind." Stiles smirks.

 

-

 

"You gotta push me higher, daddy!" Spencer demands with a huff, before kicking his legs wildly when he doesn't. "C'mon, daddy!" The boy begs, Stiles pushes him a bit harder. He's a little distracted with Derek's talking, smiling and conversing with him brightly.

 

"How many times?" He asks when inquired to.

 

"Sixteen times, insanity, I know." Derek grins, Stiles laughs in delight. But then he frowns a little when Derek's face falls and he looks past Stiles.

 

"What?" He questions, turning his head to follow the man's line of sight, but Derek's already moving. He walks a few feet away near the edge of the playground.  

 

"Carrie, hey!" Derek's stopping a little girl, who's walking with a man. They both pause to look at Derek, the man scowls. "Carrie, where's your mommy?" He demands.

 

"She went to the bathroom." The girl says politely, playing with her beautiful brunette braid. "I'm helping Mr. Truman look for his puppy."

 

"I don't think that's a good idea... You should wait for your mommy, she'll be worried if you aren't here." He says, before looking at the man before him. He's got on a nice tie and button-down, hair slicked back. He seems like an average guy, Stiles never would have noticed him. "How do you know Carrie?" He questions with arms crossed.

 

"Mr. Truman lives down the road from me!" Carrie replies with a grin, Derek smiles easily, like everything is normal.

 

"We were just looking for my dog." The man huffs, annoyed.

 

"Really now? I could help you, or maybe the police could as well." Derek says coolly, Stiles can see the man's eyes widen ever so slightly. "They're much better at finding dogs." He smiles, the threat in his tone evident.

 

The man starts to back away, turning as he almost trips off the edge of the playground.

 

"Carrie why don't you come and wait with me and my buddy Spencer over here until your mommy gets back?" Derek suggests to the girl, who nods hesitantly.

 

"Carrie this is Spencer, Spencer, Carrie. Why don't you swing together?" He lets Carrie get on the swing before starting to push her gently.

 

"Dude, I never would have seen that... Great job." Stiles murmurs to Derek, who nods distractedly as he scans the area.

 

"Predators are hard to spot." He replies quietly, eyes flickering about the children on the playground. The words make Stiles' stomach knot up a bit, Derek looks so tense and ready to bolt. Like he's not the adult in the playground, but the little boy wary of being snatched.

 

Carrie's mother comes back, talks to Derek, who actually scolds her.

 

"She shouldn't be left alone, not for a minute. It only takes a few seconds for things to go disastrously wrong." He explains to the woman, who looks slightly ill. "You should talk to her about walking off with anyone but you, and you should probably tell other parents about that man... Report him as well. Predators can be anyone you know..." He says, eyes still wandering around like he expects to get jumped.

 

"I won't do it again, and I'll talk to her... Promise.. Thank you so much, Derek." She says gratefully, Derek nods. Carrie leaves with her mother, Spencer, Stiles, and Derek head back to the car.

 

"That was so much fun, Dee-Dee! We should do it again!" Spencer grins, Derek offers him a half-hearted smile in return. He still seems shaken, like the situation made him more unsettled than it would for a normal person. Stiles wonders if he's had a personal experience with a predator before, but he doesn't ask.

 

When they drop Derek off, they wait until he's opened the door and walked inside to drive off.

 

"Was that man gonna take Carrie?" Spencer asks, breaking the quiet that had formed in the car.

 

"Yes." He answers honestly, because his son should know about things like that. All kids should be well trained when it came to situations as such.

 

"Why did she go with him?"

 

"Because she knew him, kidnapping doesn't always happen with strangers. You ask me or your mom before it's okay to go anywhere with anyone but us, okay?" He asks, looks at his son in the rearview mirror.

 

"I know daddy..." The boy falls silent for a few seconds. "Dee-Dee seemed weird after that, why?"

 

"I'm not sure... I guess he was upset over the idea of Carrie being taken." He shrugs.

 

"He seemed scared."

 

"Kids getting taken is a scary thing, Spence." He thinks of his sweet little boy being snatched up, bites his lip to stave off a wave of worry that fills him.

 

"Don't worry daddy, I know better." Spencer comforts as they pull into the driveway.

 

"Good boy." He approves, gets out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter contains a situation in which kidnapping almost occurs. )
> 
> ( Hope you liked this chapter! If you did, leave comments below to tell me! I love to hear your opinions! )


	11. Know How It Feels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After what Stiles thought was a great night, Derek does something that terrifies him to the core, and makes him reevaluate their relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( Trigger Warnings at the bottom! )
> 
> ( Sorry for this very late update, school is hell, my life is sort of in shambles, and I lost my inspiration for quite a while... But I am here and back for now. )

It's six in the evening when Stiles and Spencer head to Lydia's house, when they walk inside, they're greeted with joyous laughter and two female voices. Spencer makes a sort of impish grin and presses his finger to his lips, creeps around the corner. Stiles is a little afraid at first, Lydia and Cora knew they were coming right? What if Spencer was walking into naked shenanigans in the living room?!

 

"BOO!" He hears just as he turns the corner, gets to witness Lydia and Cora jump and Lydia yelp from their place sitting together on the couch. "Got you mommy! Got you too, Cora!" He giggles and lets out a shriek when Cora reaches over the back of the couch and tugs him between them. They engage in a tickle fight until Spencer is breathless and red from laughter.

 

"You got a date tonight, stud?" Lydia smirks, Stiles reaches up to touch his freshly gelled hair. He had gotten a little dressed up, a button down and jeans, nothing much for a dinner at Derek's... But he wanted to put some effort into his appearance.

 

"Derek and I are just having dinner at his place." He shrugs, acting casual, but he can already feel his palms sweating in the least bit.

 

"They're gonna kiss like you and mommy do..." Spencer hisses to Cora with disgust, who laughs and squeezes the boy against her chest. Spencer hugs her back, smiling at Stiles and waving goodbye. "Have fun daddy, don't kiss too much." He sticks out his tongue.

 

"I'll try, buddy." He snorts, waves to the three before heading out.

 

-

 

Derek cooks him dinner, which is absolutely lovely, he tells him this with delighted noises as he chews. Derek gives him a soft smile in return, sips at his water to hide his pleased expression. They talk about everything and absolutely nothing, simple everyday life, random things that pop into their heads. It's easygoing and everything happens without incident.

 

Derek's wearing a soft looking grey sweater and a pair of skinny jeans, hair styled in a bit of a prince look. A prince, Stiles' prince.

 

Afterwards, Derek breaks out a hidden XBOX, which, Stiles has decidedly found his future husband. They play all sorts of games, and Derek explains that he hadn't really played in a while. His actions speak the truth, he sucks at video games, period. But it's sort of cute, the way he gets all serious and glares at the screen. The way he shakes his controller and grits his teeth in quiet frustration.

 

When Stiles wins four rounds of Mario Kart in a row, Derek shouts in frustration and actually throws his controller a few feet, pouting.

 

"Sorry, didn't mean to crush you so hard." He apologizes with a small smile, but there's a slight tightening in his chest that worries he's gone too far and Derek took it personally. But Derek shrugs with a sigh and glares once more at the TV.

 

"My controller must be breaking." He says simply, Stiles gapes at him.

 

"Liar, I stomped you." He snorts, Derek glares at him again before his tight lipped look bends into a small smile.

 

"I guess one of those rounds you won, you can't be that terrible." He stands up as he throws his mighty shade, leaving Stiles with his mouth open as he switches to Netflix with the remote.

 

"You're terrible." He concedes with a huff as he gets up and settles down on the couch, grumbling to himself when he spots Derek smirking.

 

-

 

A movie and a half later, Stiles notes that Derek has moved a bit closer, hand settled between them with fingers twitching. Stiles carefully sets his own hand next to Derek's, touches their pinkies together and waits. His face gets hot and he feels like a total middle school kid when Derek's hand shifts over his own. His hand is warm and in the slightest bit calloused, and a bit smaller than Stiles'.

 

He smiles through the rest of the movie, and once it ends, Derek shuts the TV off and offers their hands a sort of longing glance.

 

"Should probably go to bed.. It's almost one in the morning." He mutters, Stiles nods in agreement and bites the inside of his cheek when Derek removes his hand.

 

"I suppose so." He agrees quietly, shifts both of his hands into his lap to occupy them.

 

"You could... I dunno, sleep in my room again.. If you want.." And how he did want, so very much. But Derek seemed hesitant, like Stiles was going to get the wrong idea.

 

"You sure? I can sleep down here again." He offers, Derek nods slowly, and Stiles isn't sure about the meaning of it.

 

"Maybe you should." He says softly, gets this sort of odd look on his face, and turns. "I'll get you some blankets and a pillow." He says, before walking off. Stiles isn't sure how to take that reaction, did Derek think he was hesitating, or did he want Stiles to offer to sleep downstairs? Either way, he didn't mind, but he didn't want Derek thinking that he didn't want to be close to him for any reason.

 

He brings back two pillows and an extremely soft blanket, Stiles thanks him and watches him disappear into the kitchen. He settles down on his pillows, listens to Derek walk around the house checking all the locks with Mac's claws clicking behind him. When the older man returns to the foyer, he leans into the room and whispers a quiet 'goodnight'. The light shuts off near the stairs, leaving only a slight glow from a lamp near the TV.

 

Stiles listens to the footsteps putter around upstairs before settling finally, leaving himself to his own thoughts.

 

-

 

Stirring the batter in the bowl, Stiles sighs into the phone.

 

"Just hand the phone to Cora, let me talk to her." He mutters.

 

_"What did you fuck up this time?"_   Cora grumbles quietly, he hears a door shut somewhere on the other side of the line.

 

"I dunno, I mean last time we slept together... But this time he seemed a little off and I offered to-" He cuts himself off when Cora makes a startled noise.

 

_"You slept together?! What do you mean??!"_ She demands roughly, he sighs.

 

"Just sleep, we slept in the same bed with a pillow barrier. No big deal." He says, pouring batter into the hissing pan.

 

_"No big deal? Stilinski, he locks himself in his room with Mac all the time. Isaac's the only one that's ever really slept in the same room as him in years, and he slept on the floor."_ Stiles swallows heavily, feeling the weight of her words hit him.

 

"I knew it was sort of a serious thing, but I didn't think of it like that.." He says softly.

 

_"So what happened?"_ Cora inquires.

 

"Well he offered to let me do it again last night. But I dunno, he hesitated and I offered to sleep downstairs if he didn't want me to and he just said 'maybe it's better if you do'. What the hell does that mean? I didn't mean to offend him or anything-" He pauses to think. "I just wanted to make sure I wasn't pressuring him." He finishes with a sigh.

 

_"I dunno, I'm sure if he's offended and you tell him what you mean, he'll understand. But I can't really tell you, because again, Derek's a bit of an enigma for me as well. He mostly just locks me out of his room and then comes out when he's ready."_ She tells him, he grabs a spatula and flips his pancakes.

 

"I guess I'll just have to talk to him when he gets out of the shower." He mutters.

 

_"Shower?"_ Cora asks, her voice sounds a little puzzled.

 

"Yeah, he's been in there for like twenty minutes." He says offhandedly, running a hand through his hair. "Your brother takes long showers, mine usually take like ten minutes at the most." He smirks.

 

_"Stiles go upstairs, right now."_ Cora demands, her voice sounding way too serious for his liking.

 

"What? Why?" He questions, glancing towards the doorway that leads to the foyer.

 

_"Just fucking do it, okay? Knock on the door, if he doesn't answer after a couple of knocks, break the fucking door down or something."_ She tells him, he hears her moving around quickly on the other line. _"I'm coming home."_

 

"You can't just freak me out and not give me any information!" He snaps, moving towards the stairs and racing up them. "What the hell's going on?" He commands, following the sound of running water to a door and knocking on it. "Derek? Dude, you in there?" He calls loudly, heart racing and chest tightening. No answer comes, he knocks again. "Don't fuck around, Derek.. You're freaking me out.." He shouts, hoping that Derek can't hear him over the water. He tries the knob, finds it locked.

 

_"Break it down, now."_ Cora directs him urgently, he steps back, feels all of his cop training kick in. His foot slams into the middle of the door, it shakes but doesn't break, thick wooden door. He tries again, and then once more, the area of the doorway holding the lock splinters away in a spray of wood. Steam billows out of the doorway, so heated and thick he feels like he's suffocating when he steps inside, barely able to see in front of him.

 

_"Stiles?"_ Cora questions on the other line, worried and panicked, he drops his phone on the counter when he finds it. He maneuvers towards the water and finds the shower door, swinging it open and spotting a figure hunched at the bottom of the floor. He reaches in and feels for the knob, hand getting slightly scalded by a spray of water. He shuts the water off and as the noise dies away, he's met with the sound of heavy choking sobs.

 

"Fuck, Derek, what the hell are you doing?!" He demands, kneeling down and waving his hand around in an attempt to clear away some of the steam. He reaches out and touches the figure before him, as the fog clears he sees a damp and naked Derek Hale curled up on the shower floor. His skin is a dark pink, blue hair damp and hanging down over his ears and eyes. "Derek?" He's not really sure what's going on, confused and bewildered, unsure of what to do.

 

He grabs a towel off the counter, settles it over the older man's shaking shoulders and reaches out hesitantly to push the soaked hair from his face. Derek's eyes are squeezed shut and tears mingling with water droplets on his face, breaths coming in gasping sobs.

 

"Derek, hey, what's going on?" He lowers his voice slightly, settling it into a quiet and soothing tone, one he used on Spencer when he was scared or hurt. Derek's eyes open slightly, red and irritated.

 

"I-I... I just wanted to.." He sobs again, but reigns it back a bit. "-see ho- how it feels." He whimpers.

 

"What? See how what feels?" He whispers.

 

"B-Burning alive." Stiles' heart stops in that moment, a sort of stone cold fear falling over him. A freezing feeling that makes him shiver slightly at the meaning of Derek's words.

 

"C'mon, get out of the shower." He touches the man's arm gently, pulling away when he flinches. "Sorry, I'm sorry.. C'mon." He murmurs, hands hovering over the man as he shakily stands up. He slings a towel around Derek's waist as quickly as he can, trying to keep from touching him.

 

The door downstairs opens loudly and closes with a bang.

 

"Derek?! Stiles?" Cora calls out, Derek hunches over slightly and presses his pink hands to his red ears, clenching his eyes shut again.

 

"Upstairs!" He calls out as quietly as he can, leads Derek by the elbow towards his room. Cora appears at the top of the stairs, eyes wide and concerned. "Derek, go get dressed." He tells the man softly, ushering him into the room and closing the door a bit, leaving his foot in the doorway so he couldn't close and lock it.

 

"He's okay?" Cora asks, Stiles opens and closes his mouth a few times.

 

"How do _you_ define _okay_? Because _that_ -" He points to the door with a hissing voice. "-is _not_ okay!" He snaps.

 

"I know.. I know.. I'm sorry.. He's done it before, I thought he was over it." She whispers sadly, running her hands over her face.

 

"He's locked himself in the shower trying to burn himself alive? Multiple times? Has he gotten help???" He demands.

 

"He goes to a therapist, a psychologist, he's on medication. He was even in a psych ward for a few months about two years ago.." She explains quietly, rims of her eyes pinking with unshed tears.

 

"Well maybe he needs to go back, especially after this!" He snarls, enraged, unable to even comprehend how Derek could sit in the shower and pour scalding water onto himself.

 

"It's just a relapse, Stiles... I'll talk to some people, get him reevaluated.." She tells him, lowering her voice in the slightest.

 

"I can't do this... I have to go." Stiles says quietly, rubs a hand over his face.

 

"Stiles, wait." Cora grabs his arm gently, he rips it away.

 

"Don't..." He grits his teeth. 

 

"You knew the stakes, Stilinski. He likes you, a lot. And you can't break his heart over this." She says quietly.

 

"I can't have my kid exposed to this sort of stuff.. I can't have Spencer getting attached to someone who could check out at a moment's notice." He shakes his head, swallowing roughly.

 

"You can't just leave because things get tough, you know how many people have left Derek? He doesn't even trust me because I checked him into a psych ward involuntarily, and then you earn his trust and throw it away.. Well news flash, asshole! You knew Derek was having problems, you knew you had a kid, but you let it all mix together regardless. Just because you're being faced with what you agreed to, you're leaving? That's cowardly, and pathetic." His eyes burn with tears, but he clenches his fists and blinks them away.

 

"I'm doing what's best for Spencer." He whispers. "I'm sorry... I hope Derek can get the help he needs." He murmurs, turns and walks down the stairs.

 

"You can't make excuses because you're scared, Stilinski!" Cora shouts after him, but he slams the door behind him and races to the car. He knows he's a coward, feels the guilty pit in his stomach growing as he starts up his car and stray tears streak down his cheeks.

 

He hopes he hasn't made the wrong choice, but there's something in his chest that tells him he already has.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( This chapter contains self harm in the form of burning, it's not very graphic but I thought you guys should get a heads up. )
> 
> ( Yikes, seems like things are really /heating up/, aren't they? I'm going to hell for that pun, but oh well. Will Stiles go back with Derek? Will Derek get the help he needs before he falls apart completely?? We shall see.... )
> 
> ( Also, there will be an explanation as to why Derek did what he did very soon... See you next time! )


	12. Dee-Dee Quits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles should have seen it coming, maybe part of him actually expected it, but it still hit him a little too hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( This chapter talks about psychiatric facilities, if that's something that bothers you, just a warning. )

Stiles is home waiting for Spencer's return, still mulling over the happening that had only occurred two days before. Derek hadn't tried to text him, talk to him, anything. He wasn't sure how to feel about that, until Spencer raced into the house with tears streaming down his face.

 

"Daddy!" He wails, racing over to him and scrambling onto the couch to bury his face against his father's chest. Stiles looks up at Lydia in alarm, who walks in stoically, before shooting him a piercing glare.

 

"What... What's going on?" He asks gently, patting his boy gently on the back.

 

"Derek quit." The words send a sick feeling to pool in his stomach, grimacing at his friend.

 

"For good?" He murmurs, that nausea welling up and swirling into a tornado of guilt inside him.

 

"Erica says she's not sure, but he's cancelling the next few months of the meetings. He might not be back." Stiles wonders if it's because of him, that maybe he couldn't risk being in contact with anyone near him. Maybe it was because of the whole ordeal in the shower, either way, he felt like shit for not being there.

 

He cuddles Spencer close and comforts him softly, kissing his head and assuring him that it would be okay. After a few minutes, he calms down, eyes puffy and red with snot stuck to his upper lip and smeared on Stiles' shirt.

 

"I need to talk to daddy, sweetie. Maybe you could go play in your room?" Lydia suggests quietly, the boy rubs at his face with a stuffy sniffle and nods, retreats down the hall.

 

"Before you say anything-" Stiles starts, holding his hands up, but Lydia points a finger at him.

 

"You listen to me Meonemin Nathanial Stilinski," Stiles grimaces at his birth name, she was bringing out the big guns. "Cora told me all about your little scene at Derek's house." She hisses, he debates responding but then simply ends up leaning back against the couch to get comfortable.

 

"Go ahead." He mutters.

 

"I understand that you were scared, it's a scary thing to be presented with." He wasn't really expecting that, actually. "You weren't really prepared or notified that Derek would actively hurt himself... And I can understand that.." She sighs, pushing a strand of her hair behind her ear and sitting down next to him on the couch.

 

"Thank you." He nods, feeling a little relieved that someone was on his side. But then groans when the finger raises again.

 

"However," She states. "You ran from that situation, and the Stiles Stilinski I know is no coward." She tells him softly, and there's that guilt and regret once more.

 

"He was burning himself with hot water, Lyds." He whispers, she reaches out and strokes his jaw with a smooth thumb.

 

"I know, but you have to realize that Derek was in a compromising state, and you left. How do you think he felt to come out of that bedroom and find you gone? To feel that guilt, that shame?" Lydia was really good at making him feel bad when he deserved it.

 

"I panicked, I've never dealt with this... The closest I've ever come to something like that was my mom." His voice cracks a little on his last word, taking in a deep breath to center himself. As the dementia had started to really take hold of her, she had hurt herself in an attempt to save herself from her delusions. It was a scary thing to watch, he had gone through a lot of counseling in those few years and many more after she had passed.

 

"You'd never dealt with PTSD before either, but you signed up pretty quick." She argues quietly, and he supposes she's right.

 

"Did Cora tell you why he's quitting?" He asks, reaching out and taking her hand gently, for his own comfort more than hers.

 

"He's allowing himself to be put under psychiatric care for a while." The statement makes his heart ice up, throbbing with emotion as icicles consume it. He remembers his last discussion with Cora.

 

_"You can't just leave because things get tough, you know how many people have left Derek? He doesn't even trust me because I checked him into a psych ward involuntarily, and then you earn his trust and throw it away.."_

 

"He's doing it, right? This isn't Cora's decision?" He questions hesitantly, Lydia nods.

 

"They had a discussion about it, and talked to some of the professionals working with him. They just want to give him a better treatment, and under their watchful eye is the best way to start." She tells him, squeezing his hand.

 

"Does he want to see me?" It's a long shot, it isn't the first time he's messed up, and this time it's serious. To leave someone after doing something so severe and compromising, it probably ruined the relationship for good.

 

"He hasn't gone yet, probably going to be at his house for another day. You could visit him, but I'm not sure if he'll enjoy seeing you. He was pretty crushed that you had left." She explains, leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. "But I think you should give it a shot." She affirms.

 

-

 

He holds his breath after knocking, hands clenching into painfully tight fists in anticipation and anxiety. The door opens carefully and Cora is standing before him, eyes hard.

 

"I know he probably doesn't want to see me, but if you'd just tell him that I'm sorry-" He says with a flail of his arms, Cora cocks a hip as she leans against the door.

 

"I really want to slam the door on your face right now." She says, voice leaking irritation. "But, my brother is unfortunately hung up on you, and it'll crush him more if I tell you to fuck off." Cora turns and swings the door the rest of the way open, storming up the stairs.

 

Stiles closes the door quietly behind him, glances up to the second floor landing, then wanders into the living room. As he had guessed, Derek lay curled up on the couch. His arms wrapped around Mac, face tucked against the back of the dog's neck as his eyes flicker over the TV screen.

 

"Hey." He greets softly, shifting awkwardly, Derek's eyes slip over to the doorway. "I owe you an apology." He steps forward a little. Derek is completely silent, staring at him unmoving except for his eyes following Stiles' movement. There's a sort of emptiness in his eyes, where emotion used to be held so prevalent. "If you're not feeling well, I can make it quick." He offers.

 

Derek's fingers twitch against Mac's chest, tugging the dog a little closer, which simply turns and noses at the man's hairline. They're quiet, the only noise coming as a low hum from the TV, almost for a full minute.

 

"Go ahead." Derek croaks, voice slightly hoarse.

 

"I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, at all. I left you in a bad place, I was only thinking of myself." He starts, slipping his thumbs into his pockets. "I heard about everything going on, and I'll support anything you think is right. If you don't want to see me anymore, I'd understand." Stiles bites the inside of his cheek, eyes burning in the slightest.

 

Derek says something, but it's mostly muffled against Mac's fur. Stiles raises his eyebrows in a silent plea to repeat himself. He lifts his face up in the slightest, revealing his dark scruff and soft pink lips. "Is that what you want?" He asks.

 

"What do you mean?" He walks over to the couch and sits down on the edge of the coffee table.

 

"You don't want to see me anymore, is this just a way of breaking up with me?" Derek questions, shifting a little, almost as if he's trying to hide behind his dog.

 

"Of course not, I'd love to continue seeing you... But now might not be the best time, we could wait for a while, while you try to get better." He smiles gently, Derek doesn't offer anything back but a sort of lost and guarded look.

 

"You'd wait?" His voice holds a heavy sadness twisted with a wistful hope.

 

"I'd be happy to do so." He agrees.

 

"For how long?" Derek's eyebrows do a funny movement, and Stiles leans forward to rest his elbows on his thighs.

 

"Until you're ready to forgive me, until you think you're in a better place." He shrugs.

 

"Would you still visit me, in the facility?" He's relaxing in the slightest, just a little less tension in his shoulders.

 

"If you'd like, yes.. I'll come by when I can." He smiles again, and he's not sure if it's a trick of the light, but he thinks Derek's lips quirk up a bit as well.

 

"I'd like that." Derek agrees, nodding his cheek against Mac's fur.

 

"Then we're agreed, you don't need to worry about us right now. You need to take care of yourself." He almost reaches out, almost, but his hand simply falls back to his knee in a fluid movement. They fall quiet again, just staring at each other, a fake audience laughs on the TV.

 

"Stiles?" Derek whispers.

 

"Yeah?" He speaks just as gently. Derek's lips twitch in the slightest, eyes flickering away for a moment in uncertainty, before returning with their normal intensity.

 

"Can I have a hug?"

 

"Of course." He opens his arms, Derek sits up and brushes some of the dog fur off of his sweater, stands. Stiles stands as well, and Derek hesitates for only a moment before burying himself in the younger man's arms. His face presses to Stiles' shoulder, arms firm and careful as they squeeze him with a comfortable pressure. He gives his own tight hold as well, patting at Derek's back. He smells like he needs a shower, just slightly musky, but he enjoys the comfort regardless.

 

They stand there for a while, just soaking in the companionship, he lets Derek break it up. His eyes seem a little glassy, but the elder smiles gently and sighs. When he sinks back into the couch, he appears more relaxed, not as heavy.

 

"I'm going in tomorrow." He explains.

 

"What facility?" Stiles questions, just for future reference.

 

"Oakland, it's about thirty minutes from here." Derek says, rubbing his hands together and looking down at his lap.

 

"How often should I visit?" He props his chin against the palm of his hand, gazing softly at Derek.

 

"I'll be there for about... I dunno, really.. Two, three months maybe. You could do a monthly visit." He suggests.

 

"I could come more often." He offers when he finds Derek to seem a little sad at his own proposition. The man's eyes flicker up to peer at him carefully.

 

"Really?" He's cautious, like he expects Stiles to tell him he's kidding.

 

"How about every week? I think I could make that work." He grins, Derek nods immediately.

 

"That'd be great, if it's not too much trouble." He sounds happy, relieved. Stiles stands begrudgingly, Lydia had a meeting, she couldn't wait around forever.

 

"No trouble at all. You just take care of yourself, okay?" He nods, and Derek nods back. "Okay, well Lydia's waiting for me at home with Spencer. It's my night, I wish I could stay longer..." He murmurs, Derek's eyes darken just a bit. He waits for Derek to say he's going to be fine, that he'll see him soon, but he simply just stares at Stiles with a longing gaze. The silence consumes them once again, and Derek reaches up to rub at his eye without a noise.

 

"Well, I guess this is it for now... No phones in the facility, yeah?" He asks awkwardly, Derek nods. "Well that's okay, I'll see you every week." He offers cheerily, but Derek simply stares down at his lap, twiddling his fingers. Stiles sighs after a moment, walks back over to him and crouches down.

 

He angles his head a little, trying to catch Derek's eyes, carefully reaching forward to take his hands. When Derek doesn't pull them away, he squeezes them gently, waiting for their eyes to meet.

 

"Hey, look at me." His eyes flicker up to him, his stare almost breathtaking. "It's gonna be okay, it's temporary. Just a few months, you're tough, right?" He smiles, and Derek nods. "Good, you're gonna do fine. Nothing to worry about, just keep going, don't look back." He says softly, Derek's eyes travel all across his face.

 

Then, Derek surprises him, leans forward and kisses his forehead. A simple kiss, like the one Lydia had given him earlier... But for some reason, it made his face heat up, heart stutter for a moment.

 

"I'll see you." Derek promises, and Stiles stands.

 

"Not if I see you first." He smirks, turns away, and walks out.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( Hope you liked the new chapter, you guys. If you did, please leave comments below, have a wonderful evening. )


	13. On The Inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles visits the clinic over the next two months, up until Derek's release.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( Surprise bitch, bet you thought you'd seen the last of me! Nah, but really, I realize that I haven't updated in quite a while... I haven't given up yet, but it's hard to find inspiration with the dark moods I frequently fall under. I'm sorry you've had to wait so long, but here's a new chapter, so enjoy! )

It takes an entire week before Stiles can visit Derek for the first time in the clinic. He gets information from Cora through Lydia that they have to get him settled in and talking to a few doctors before visitation can be allowed. He finally finds time on a Thursday after a shift at the station, heads over still in his uniform, afraid to miss visiting hours.

 

A nurse talks to him at the desk, a polite young man with a bright smile, makes him sign in and gives him directions down the hall. He can barely contain his excitement, and his eyes are automatically scanning for that familiar face when he enters a large room with many people scattered about in chairs and on couches. The place reeks of cleanliness, which he guesses is better than reeking of filth. The antiseptic smell is strong, reminding him of the dreary days visiting his mother in the hospital. Of the few months in Eichen after his breakdown in high school, he shakes his head of the memories.

 

He frowns when he doesn't find Derek immediately, then scans again. There are a few people in regular clothes, but most he assumes are patients. They're dressed in greyish uniforms and white shoes, he singles out every one of them, but no sign of Derek. He starts to worry a bit, wondering exactly what could be wrong, what had happened that he wasn't where he should be.

 

His anxiety was just about to hit panicking when he spots a door leading to a glassed in balcony in his circle around the room, and a familiar figure facing away from the door. He steps outside, breathing a sigh of relief.

 

"Derek." He calls out, the man spins around, a smile lighting his face up. Well, sort of at least.. His eyes are a little dim and glassy, a purplish tint under them. His hair is a bit wild, his hands twitch at his sides in a compulsive sort of way. Derek steps forward, and after a moment of hesitation, pulls Stiles into a tight hug when the younger holds his arms out.

 

"I missed you so much." Derek sighs into his ear, before his face shifts down to bury against his shoulder. Stiles holds him securely, feeling tremors running through Derek's hands where they clutch at his uniform jacket.

 

"I missed you too, here, lemme look at you." He instructs the other, pulling him back a little. "You don't look so hot, you doing okay?" He asks, reaching up cautiously to cup his jaw.

 

"I'm just tired, anxious, you know? Without Mac, in a strange place, with a lot of people." He shrugs, eyes flickering over Stiles over and over again like he can't get enough of the sight of him.

 

"Maybe you could talk to someone about getting you some sleeping meds or something, you can't get better if you don't feel safe." He suggests, Derek does a one-shouldered shrug in response.

 

"I'm doing a lot of tests and stuff, we're going to try a different type of medication regimen. I don't want it to interfere with everything." He admits softly, Stiles knows this is for the best, but the sight of Derek looking so worn down made him agitated at the people here. Couldn't they see that this was already stressing him out, did they even care?

 

"They treating you all right?" He asks, Derek nods.

 

"The doctors seem good, even the orderlies.. It's nothing like the first place I went to." Derek averts his eyes as his voice trails off for a moment, then they flicker back like nothing had happened. His hands have come together in front of him to fiddle with each other, the sleeves of his uniform.

 

"Where'd you go the first time?" Stiles asks, gestures over to a table with some chairs around it just a few feet away. They sit down next to each other, Stiles glances out at the view, lots of trees and sky.. It seemed nice, calming.. He has a feeling Derek visits this area quite a bit.

 

"Eichen House." Derek's voice is hard, stilted, and it jolts Stiles a bit. Eichen was shut down very recently, lots of problems had finally been proved by authorities. Abusive staff, health violations, misuse of medication. The place was a hellhole, Stiles remembers it vividly, the thought of Derek being there makes bile rise in his throat. Stiles was never a troublesome patient, but he still got roughed up a few times. He thinks of unstable Derek, who was so bad that his sister had to commit him for his own safety.. His eyes burn a bit at the idea of him being mistreated again after he had suffered so much before that.

 

"This place is nothing like Eichen, Derek... I've done my fair share of research on it, no past complaints, not a peep." He assures him, Derek nods and leans back in his seat.

 

"Back then I was different, I wasn't this person.. I had fits and episodes that ended with sedatives and restraints." His voice shakes slightly on the word 'restraints'. "They aren't allowed to do that anymore unless absolutely necessary, Dr. Weisman made sure of that. He says it could hurt me more than help me, because of.. My past..." He shakes his head a bit, like he's pulling himself from his mind. Derek stares at him for a long time, and Stiles isn't sure if he's supposed to say something because for once he's lost for words. Derek never talked about his past, and Stiles never asked.. A fear of restraints, it makes his hands shake to think about what sort of tragedy could have occurred in college to cause that.

 

"But you aren't like that anymore, right? So nothing to worry about." He finally says, finding his voice much too weak for his liking, he clears his throat.

 

"Yeah, I'm not like that anymore." Derek agrees hollowly, he swallows in a rough way that makes Stiles' cringe.

 

"Spencer misses you." Stiles says after a few minutes of silence. "Mind if I bring him sometime?" He asks, Derek shakes his head.

 

"No, I'd like to see him, if that's okay. But maybe after everything is settled and I'm a bit better, yeah?" He suggests, Stiles nods.

 

"Of course, whenever you say it's okay." He assures, before sighing. "I miss our dates." He admits.

 

"So do I." Derek smirks a bit, scratching at his neck.

 

"You'll be out soon enough, we can go back to our movie nights, everything will be just fine." Stiles isn't sure if he's saying it more for Derek or himself, because his nights suddenly seem empty without having Derek by his side. A nurse comes out of the main room to tell Stiles that visiting hours have ended, and that he'll have to leave. Damn, he'd have to come earlier next time. "I'll be back as soon as I can." He smiles as they stand.

 

"I'll be counting the days." Derek fidgets a bit, biting his lip in hesitation. "Can I..??" He gestures a bit in a way that Stiles understands, like every time.

 

"Of course." He grins, steps forward just a bit as Derek does. Derek's hands rest lightly on his shoulders as their lips press together, Stiles keeps his hands to himself mostly. "I'll see you, all right?" He presses another kiss to Derek's cheek, who nods and pulls him into another hug.

 

"One for the road." Derek huffs a laugh against his neck, squeezes him like he never wants to let go, never wants to forget what it feels like. Stiles knows the feeling, he departs with another smile and farewell, before walking out.

 

-

 

Each time they meet, they find each other out on the balcony, talk for a while, then Stiles departs. Derek seems less haggard after a while, growing accustomed to his surroundings. His hands still twitch in a small way, and Stiles thinks it might be a nervous tick, accompanied by his scanning of his surroundings. It's like he's paranoid, which wouldn't be an odd presumption, considering his mistrust of any place other than his own home and the library.

 

He's not really clingy for normal standards, but he seems way more affectionate than he used to be. Hugging when Stiles arrives, when he leaves, sometimes reaching over to hold his hand. Stiles was usually lucky to get one hug a date on a good day, and they only held hands if Derek was nervous. He just seemed dependent on Stiles' presence, and understandably, Stiles was worried.

 

But Derek didn't seem to be being mistreated or abused, he just wasn't comfortable where he was. He didn't enjoy being away from home, and often talked about missing Mac. Stiles wished he could come home, he wasn't even sure why they were keeping him, really. He seemed the same, if not more stressed over his environment.

 

-

 

"I'm sorry, do you happen to know where Derek Hale is?" He asks an orderly after waiting for Derek out on the balcony for fifteen minutes. He had counted, and gotten much too worried.

 

"What's he look like?" The orderly, a big man with a deep voice asks.

 

"Dark hair, green eyes, broad shoulders, scruffy face?" He shrugs, rubbing his hands together nervously.

 

"Oh, the book guy... Yeah, he reads a lot. Nice guy, pretty quiet." The man smiles a bit, before walking over to another orderly and muttering something to him. They exchange a few words and the man comes back. "My friend was given orders to leave him in his room for the day." He tells Stiles with a small frown.

 

"He doesn't know why?" Stiles feels a knot forming in his gut, he bites the inside of his cheek as the man shakes his head. "Can I talk to someone about that? I'm not family, well.. I'm his boyfriend, but I worry.. I could call his sister I suppose, but we're not really on the best terms right now." He realizes he's rambling and bites his tongue.

 

"I guess you could ask, but I doubt they'd tell you anything.. You could come back tomorrow maybe." He suggests.

 

"Yeah, yeah I guess.." He ends up talking to the nice guy at the desk, who's name is Micah.

 

"Sometimes the doctors tell the orderlies not to force the patients out of their rooms like they are usually supposed to. It's good for the patients to get out and socialize, but sometimes there's a good reason.. They're sick, maybe they had a rough night, there's a lot of reasons." He tells Stiles with a sigh as he sorts through some papers.

 

"Nothing serious happened though? Nobody heard anything about him freaking out or anything?" He presses, Micah shrugs.

 

"Not that I know of, but sometimes patients have episodes during appointments, the only ones who would know were the specific ones asked to take the patient back to their room." He explains.

 

"Okay.. Okay, well.. I'll be back whenever I can, keep your eyes peeled." He tells the young man, who nods.

 

"Roger that, I'm on the case, deputy." He grins with a mock salute, Stiles rolls his eyes before walking out, trying not to smile at Micah's echoing laugh behind him. There's still a niggling feeling of concern for his boyfriend that follows him home.

 

-

 

Stiles waits for ten minutes this time, and starts really getting worried, before someone shuffles out onto the balcony.

 

"Hey!" Stiles grins, standing up. Derek hovers near the door, shoulders hunched up a bit, eyes focused on the floor. "Derek?" He murmurs, stepping a bit closer. "You didn't show up the other day, I couldn't find you." He says quietly, and Derek steps past him to sit down at the table. Stiles sits down at the chair beside him.

 

His hands are wound up in the hem of his shirt, sleeves looking damp and wrinkled.

 

"What happened to your sleeves?" He asks hesitantly. Derek looks down at them and frowns a bit, tugging at the material briefly before returning to clutching the bottom hem of his shirt.

 

"I was chewing on them." Derek says softly, Stiles had seen him do it before, but not in such a way to dampen his sleeves with spit.

 

"Der, hey look at me." He leans forward a bit, feeling hurt when Derek flinches in the slightest. His eyes flicker up to look at him, tired and bloodshot. "What's got you so frazzled?" He questions.

 

"It was a bad day, that's all." Derek mutters.

 

"Someone hurt you?" It's automatic, the urge to protect Derek amps up with the sight of him looking so vulnerable.

 

"No, it was just a bad day..." Derek grits his teeth, Stiles sits back a bit.

 

"Okay, okay... I'm sorry, I'm just worried." He offers, Derek nods in understanding. "They said they left you in your room, you get some sleep?" He inquires.

 

"No.. Nightmares." He answers simply, shaking his head slightly.

 

"Have you talked to someone about them?" He asks.

 

"That's not really any of your business, is it?" Derek's voice takes on a sharp tone, and then he shrinks down in his seat a bit like he wants to disappear. "I'm really tired, Stiles... I just want to lay down, can we do this another day?" He asks softly, Stiles tries not to feel too hurt.

 

"Well, yeah.. I mean, yeah, of course." He agrees quietly, standing when Derek stands.

 

"I'll see you, yeah?" Stiles holds out his arms hesitantly, Derek stares at him until he drops them in defeat.

 

"Bye." Derek turns away and walks inside, Stiles tries not to feel crushed, he fails.

 

-

 

They had been sitting in silence for the past twenty minutes, he had found Derek sitting on the balcony when he'd returned the next week. He wasn't even sure if Derek was going to show up, but he didn't want him to feel abandoned, regardless of his attitude the time before.

 

"I'm sorry... About last week." Derek says finally, breaking the quiet. "I wasn't in the best place, and I shouldn't have taken it out on you." He stares down at the table, picking at his sleeve. They aren't chewed on like last time, but he still looks sort of tired.

 

"It's okay, I know this is tough for you.. Don't worry about it." He says.

 

"It's not though.. Just because I'm sick doesn't mean that I get to treat people badly." He shakes his head a few times, before dropping it onto his hands. "I thought you weren't going to show up." He mutters.

 

"I'd never abandon you, not again." He promises.

 

"You should, I deserve it." Derek snaps, Stiles sighs.

 

"Derek, don't say that." He whispers.

 

"It's true, I'm weak and a coward. It's been years and I'm still acting like some pansy. I can't even walk into a dark room." His voice clogs up with emotion and he hides his face in his arms.

 

"You aren't weak, you've been traumatized in a way that makes you cautious. If I got mugged in the park, I would avoid the park. If I got bit by a dog, I'd be wary of dogs. It's human instinct, what happened to you makes you worry about it happening again. Things that remind you of that situation make you upset, and in an attempt to stop it, you avoid those situations. You're adapting, however you can." He tells Derek with conviction.

 

"I don't want to be like this anymore." Derek says to him, lifting his head to reveal damp eyes with irritated pink skin surrounding them. "I want to be me, Stiles." He sniffs.

 

"You are you, Der.. People change from their experiences, sometimes for better, sometimes for worse.. There's nothing you can do to take back the past, but you can move on and grow from what you've learned." He reaches out hesitantly, Derek watches his hand carefully, but doesn't move away. He drops the hand down in his mess of dark hair, running his fingers through the thick strands.

 

His eyes close, seeming to settle at Stiles' touch.

 

"Things might seem tough but they'll get better, I promise." He assures.

 

"Thanks, Stiles." He croaks.

 

-

 

Derek walks out wearing a sweater with thumbholes and a pair of sweatpants, nothing special to most, but to Stiles he looked like a model. Stiles goes full out romance movie, races to him and jumps into his arms as soon as Derek holds them out. Derek catches him and spins a bit with the momentum, Stiles wraps his legs around Derek's waist, surprised to find him able to hold him up.

 

Derek's laugh is raucous and full of life, Stiles grins as he's set down again.

 

They walk over to meet with Cora, Lydia, and Spencer. Cora shares with him a brief hug, and Derek leans down to face Spencer eye to eye.

 

"Permission to hug?" Spencer grins, Derek smirks.

 

"Permission granted." He pulls Spencer into a careful squeeze.

 

"How do you feel, then?" Lydia inquires as they walk back to the car.

 

"Better.. Not completely cured, but better.. Getting there." Derek answers uncomfortably, shifting closer to Stiles. He still seemed to be a bit nervous around Lydia, but not as hesitant to speak.

 

"Well then, what's the first thing you wanna do as a free man?" Stiles asks with a smile.

 

"I want a burger." Derek answers bluntly, everyone laughs as he grins.

 

"A burger it is, my treat." Stiles says with a chuckle, bumping his shoulder lightly into Derek's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( Derek's a free man! That concludes this chapter for now, hope you enjoyed. I really hope that I can find enough inspiration to update again soon, thanks for being so very patient with me you guys. )


	14. A Safe Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They aren't there yet, but they're that much closer.

Derek doesn't miraculously get 'cured', and Stiles doesn't expect that in the least. He just wants Derek to be happy, and he seems it. Derek doesn't spend the night at Stiles' house until he gets an extra lock for his bedroom door, and even then he has to have a nightlight to make sure Derek knows where he is if he wakes up in the middle of the night.

 

They don't get all cuddly, not completely, but they do hold hands a lot more often. Derek isn't as hesitant anymore to kiss Stiles, simple small kisses of affection and love. They get used to each other, learn more about each other, adapt and coexist. Spencer does as well, he respects Derek's boundaries more than anyone else possibly. He's careful and considerate and every conversation between the boy and Derek ends with Derek grinning ear to ear.

 

It's nice, it's family, it's home.

 

But of course, not everything can be happy all the time. No, of course not. There are still problems, but nothing they can't work through. Stiles loves Derek, and he'd do anything for him. He's never once pried about his trauma, and doesn't expect any answers any time soon... Whenever Derek's ready, he can tell him, if he's ever ready..

 

-

 

Cora moved out of the house a few weeks ago, and it's not like Stiles doesn't trust Derek alone, he just doesn't want him to get lonely. The house is huge and Derek loves being alone to an extent, but even he has his limits of solitude.

 

So Stiles heads over, takeout in one hand and DVD's in the other. Prepped and ready for a nice night on the couch watching movies. It was a familiar routine, some nights they were here, some nights at Stiles', sometimes with Spencer, sometimes not. When Stiles knocks on the door, he waits, gaining no answer. He checks the side of the house, Derek's car is in place. He frowns, knocks again.

 

He couldn't be in the shower, he only took showers in the afternoon. Maybe he was asleep? That was wishful thinking, he sets the takeout down and digs through his pocket for his keys. Cora had given him a copy, just in case, he unlocks the door. The place is quiet, all the lights are on, he picks up the bag of takeout and heads inside.

 

"Derek? You here?" He calls out, getting nervous.

 

 There's quiet in return, and Stiles peers into the living room, finding the TV off. He paces into the kitchen, trying to keep his head, but finds nobody there either. Then he hears claws scattering down the stairs, and turns to find Mac reaching the bottom of the stairs. He races forward and gets behind Stiles, nudging him towards the stairs.

 

"Mac, boy what's going on?" He asks, and steps forward when pushed, the dog pushes past him and starts up the stairs. Every few seconds he turns back to make sure Stiles is still following. They make it to the bedroom, and Mac slips through the crack in the door. Stiles pushes the door open and looks around, the room is pitch black, his heart is thumping wildly. "Der?" He calls out softly.

 

"Shh! Close the door, she'll hear you.." A voice whispers from the area of the bed, Stiles shuts the door and locks all of the locks on it. He steps over near the bed, and reaches for the lamp. "Don't!" It's Derek, definitely Derek, he kneels down and tries to pinpoint the origin of his voice. "Under here." A dark figure pops out from under the bed, grabs at Stiles' hand until he slips under the bed as well.

 

He turns his head and watches Mac lay down in the middle of the floor, this obviously isn't new to him like it is to Stiles, and there's obviously no real threat.

 

"Who's gonna hear us?" He questions softly, tilting his head to look at Derek, who was between himself and the wall. When all he receives is soft breathing, he poses the question again, reaching through the cramped space to touch Derek's shoulder. "Der? Who's gonna hear us?"

 

"Kate... She's here, I heard her." He mutters, before reaching over and smacking a hand over Stiles' mouth. "I heard her, Stiles." He hisses urgently. Who the hell was Kate? What the hell was going on? Stiles was definitely not prepared for this, he hadn't experienced something like this yet. "I heard her laugh, when I was downstairs. She broke in again, she got out of jail, Stiles." Stiles' stomach was curdling with sorrow, Derek was either hallucinating, or experiencing some sort of serious paranoia. He slowly pulls Derek's hand from his mouth, kissing it gently.

 

"Der, there's nobody in the house." He assures, and Derek lets out a soft whimper. "I was just down there, the house is empty." He explains.

 

"No, she's there.. You have to believe me." He grasps at Stiles' shirt and pleads. "She's dangerous, Stiles. She, she'll.." He falls quiet when there's a creak, the fist grasping his shirt tightens slightly. "I shouldn't have left... I..." He makes a noise that sounds like the beginning of a sob, Stiles isn't really sure what to do.

 

"I can go search the house, Der.. I'll search it top to bottom, I'll find her if she's here." He offers, Derek pulls lightly at his shirt and he can barely see the shaking movement his head is doing.

 

"She'll use you, like she did me." Stiles' blood runs cold, and he's slipping out from under the bed.

 

"Derek, there's nobody here." He turns on the light, reaching under the bed to grab at him.

 

"No! Stiles, you'll give us away!" He smacks Stiles' hand away when the younger grabs him, and then attempts to pull him back under by the wrists. "She's gonna find us, Stiles!" He really does sob, then, desperate and panicked. Stiles shuts off the light and slides under the bed again, on his stomach this time. He uses an arm to cushion his head, and places the other on top of Derek's chest.

 

"Okay, okay..." He soothes, while Derek's breathing calms and his crying stops. "We'll stay here until she's gone." He pats Derek's chest gently, the older man clings to his arm. They sit in silence for a long time, Stiles stares at the door in the dark, he can see the sliver of light beneath the door to mark it. Mac doesn't move except for the occasional shift or sigh, obviously he's resigned in Derek's ways.

 

Stiles falls asleep after a while, and when he wakes back up again, Derek's still awake and still clinging to his arm. The sun has traveled around to this side of the house, and the glow from the curtains gives him the ability to see a bit better. Derek's blinking up at the bed frame, face concentrated.

 

"Is she gone?" He asks Derek as quietly as he can, Derek frowns a little.

 

"I don't know." He mutters, and then turns his head to look at Stiles. "I haven't heard anything in a while."

 

"Okay, can I check?" He asks, and Derek's eyebrows dip down in a sort of concern. "I'll be careful." He assures.

 

Stiles searches the house from top to bottom, and Derek gets Mac to check around too before he finally crawls out from under the bed. Their takeout is cold, so Derek orders a pizza. He doesn't bring it up, and neither does Stiles as they watch DVD's. Although, Derek seems distracted, every once in a while glancing to one of the doorways like he expects to be attacked.

 

When they head up to bed that night, Stiles lays on his side of the bed waiting for Derek to come back from the bathroom. Mac is somewhere in the hallway, waiting on Derek's exit of the bathroom to escort him to bed. The old house creaks and groans, but Stiles' mind is on those few things Derek had said under the bed. Kate, some woman that had hurt him apparently.. She must be in jail, and the idea of her presence just sent Derek into a paranoid fit. He wonders what she got arrested for, and if she was the reason Derek was like this.

 

Derek comes back into the room, locks the door, and climbs over Stiles to get to his side of the bed. Stiles stares at the ceiling as he shifts a few times minutely, before ending on his side facing away from Stiles. Then there's just breathing, not deep breathing, neither of them are asleep.

 

"Stiles?" Derek says softly, Stiles hums in reply. "About this afternoon.." He starts, sounding unsure. Stiles isn't really sure how to answer, so he just waits patiently. "I'm not hallucinating, or anything like that.. I just..." He turns over to face Stiles, staring at the side of his face. "Have you ever thought you heard something, like your phone make a noise, or maybe you're in the shower and you think someone's knocking?" He questions, voice a whisper.

 

"Yeah, that's happened to me before." He nods, slowly turns his head to look at Derek in the dim light.

 

"I thought I heard laughing, a certain person laughing.. And it scared me, so I jumped to conclusions. I'm sorry if I scared you, or made you angry because you had to sit under the bed with me for so long." He mutters, obviously ashamed. "It takes me a while to realize that I was just hearing things, or that I'm being paranoid."

 

"She hurt you bad, didn't she?" Stiles asks quietly, and Derek takes in a deep breath before nodding slowly. "I understand that it's easy for you to panic over things like that, I wasn't angry." He assures, looking back up at the ceiling. "I was sad, because I don't want you to have to deal with that fear. I can't protect you from something that's not there, and it makes me upset." He explains.

 

Derek's quiet for a long time, before he reaches over and tucks his own hand into Stiles, rubbing at his knuckle with his thumb. He scoots forward and kisses Stiles' cheek gently, dropping his head down on the pillow beside him. So close that he can feel Derek's minty breath against his jaw.

 

"I love you." Derek says, and Stiles leans away to turn his head and look at him in almost disbelief. "I do." He nods.

 

"I love you too." Stiles leans forward hesitantly to press their lips together softly, then pecks him on the nose as well. He presses their foreheads together, running his fingers through Derek's soft hair gently. "I love you so much." He smiles, and Derek grins back. After a few moments, they break away, and Derek rolls onto his back. Stiles starts to turn onto his back, facing away from Derek as usual.

 

"Stiles?" Stiles hums in reply once more, already shutting his eyes. "I don't like being the big spoon." Stiles' eyes fly open, he turns to look back at Derek.

 

"That's okay." Stiles says, unsure of what was being said here. He moves a bit closer, and Derek turns to face away from Stiles. The younger moves a bit closer, almost giddy with the prospect of it, but hesitant about what might happen. He presses his chest to Derek's back slowly, and wraps an arm around his stomach. "This okay?" He asks.

 

"Yeah, yeah... You're.. Different." He says softly, like that makes sense. Stiles supposes he means different from what he had experienced, which was supposedly bad, which means this was good. Stiles grins and holds Derek against him, not tightly or restricting, just holding. Derek usually didn't want Stiles cuddled up next to him, but then again, Stiles had never really tried cuddling him like this. "Night, Stiles."

 

"Night Derek." He smiles so much it starts to hurt, but he falls asleep like that without a problem.


End file.
